Mindovermary

Reality Bites

2012-02-07T06:47:00.000-08:00

I keep one big toe in reality and the rest of me stays in a world of illusion (or delusion, if you wish). Reality is so boring and irritating and scary and depressing, that I can only take a few hours of it.

All anyone talks about is politics or the economy. The dollar has diminished to almost nothing, everyone is homeless and unemployed, people are killing themselves and their loved ones. Depression is running amok, Obama is the devil and so are the GOP candidates.

It goes on and on. The world is coming to an end.... China is going to lead the world... Iran is going to bomb us... Blah, blah, blah.

I much prefer the world of witches, vampires, demons, pixies, and elves. At least you know what and who you're dealing with. It's entertaining and scrumptious to delve into the world of ley lines and the ever-after. Kim Harrison is a wonderful writer who has utterly grabbed my attention. I start to shake and drool when I end one of her books and have to wait for another.

I can jump into my books and reality doesn't touch me. It's delightful.

So take reality and stick it. Reality bites and I have no use for it.

Moving

2012-01-28T09:18:00.000-08:00

I have spent the last year worrying about how I am going to pay my bills and still have a full life. Once I decided to sell my house and move back to Oklahoma, all the worry has left to be replaced by joy and excitement.

I realized that I have been putting my time in and nothing more. I haven't really been living.

Of course I love being in the same town with my kids and grand kids, and I love living on the lake, but to be strapped with financial worries is to die a slow death.

Once I sell my house, I will be free of financial woe and I will be able to visit my children whenever I want. I will be surrounded by friends and family in Oklahoma, and my quality of life will be as it should.

Yes, moving is stressful and getting rid of all my stuff is going to be a pain, but the rewards are endless. I am having a ball getting rid of all my furniture and extra clothing. I love the freedom of no stuff. I'm going to sell my car as well.

I'm going to start fresh in Oklahoma. I'm going to buy a small house and only have the minimal stuff I need in it. No more ridiculous things filling space.

I love starting over.

Great Sex

2012-01-25T06:50:00.000-08:00

I was having a conversation the other day about sex , or the lack of it, with one friend and then another conversation with a couple who can't stand each other when they aren't having "great sex" but have decided to move in together. The first person I was talking to hadn't had sex in awhile and feared they would never have it again. This started me thinking about the value of sex in a relationship.

I believe in our beginning, we were designed to have sex in order to reproduce. Somewhere along the line, we figured out that sex not only makes babies, it's actually fun and very pleasurable. A lot of studies have been done, and they all say that sex makes you live a longer, healthier, happier life.

That's great, but it's not what I'm thinking about. I'm thinking about the observations I've made in how sex blinds us in our relationships. How we mistake the chemistry we feel with the reality of what the relationship is.

I'm guilty of this stupidity.... twice. I married both of my husbands based on the chemical connections, disregarding the fact that I had nothing in common with either of them. I was just like all the other stupid people out there who thought I could change the person I was with or compensate in some way for the lack of compatibility.

The problem with my thinking was that when the great sex goes by the wayside, you figure out you actually can't stand the person you thought you loved, because you see the reality of the relationship. The realization that you never had anything in common and the entire relationship was based on chemistry and nothing else is mind boggling.

I see it all the time in my friends, both male and female. They dismiss everything they know is true and jump in blinded by the "great sex".

So here's a nifty idea... How about getting to know someone first? How about taking the "great sex" out of the equation and looking at the reality of the relationship. How about thinking first.

Don't get me wrong, I love men and I love sex. What I don't love is being stupid and putting myself in a bad situation. I pray to God that I am old enough and wise enough now to enter into a relationship with my eyes open. I pray that I put more time and energy into getting to know that person than I do into feeling the chemical reactions.

I am very proud of my two children who have chosen their life partners wisely. They have chosen people who they are completely compatible with in all areas. They are much smarter that I.

I think men and women both have the same problem of thinking their sexual prowess determines their self-worth and value. This is simply not true and it irritates me to even think about it. Your worth and value come from who you are. Your character is measured by your word, your compassion, your honor, your integrity. How you live your life every minute of every day is who you are.

If you are looking for a relationship or you are in a relationship, take a good look in the mirror and then at the person you are with. What is the foundation based on and what do you want it to be based on?

For me, I wouldn't care if a man could no longer have "great sex" as long as he is a good man who I have common values and humor with. "Great sex" has never gotten me anywhere.

Cancer, Shmancer

2012-01-23T07:08:00.000-08:00

I recently found out that two people I love dearly have been diagnosed with Cancer. The big C. The most feared words on earth are, "You have Cancer." Why do we shrink into ourselves when we hear someone has it or we have been told we have it? Because it used to be a strange disease there was no cure for.

The past fears of this disease have gone from generation to generation, inciting panic and resignation of eventual death through a long painful fight.

But Cancer is no longer that disease of the past. It is now a disease like any other. It is treatable and curable.

HIV/AIDS had the same panic and fear associated when it was first discovered. Now people are living long healthy lives with this disease.

It isn't the disease that's scary, it's the fear of it. Cancer is just funky blood cells that go haywire. We probably all have these cells in our body and it's just a matter of time before they go rogue.

It could be environmental, it could be genetic, it could just be because. The reasons we get Cancer are probably many, but who cares why? The fact is we get it, and there are so many different kinds of Cancer that it would be a miracle if we didn't get it.

Think of Cancer as you would a Cold. You feel like crap for awhile and then it's over and you go on with life. Take the fear out of Cancer. Stop the legacy of this fear and see it for what it is... Just a disease like many others, and more curable than most.

Cancer, shmancer!

Can I Get An Amen?

2012-01-18T06:34:00.000-08:00

Many years ago when I was a young girl, I lived a life of complete freedom from technology. I didn't have a cell phone or computer, the only television I watched was whatever the three channels offered had on, and the car we had could be fixed with a screw driver and some cursing.

I spent all of my time outside playing with my friends or by myself in my own fantasy world. I didn't know or care what a Republican or Democrat was, and eating was a necessary evil that forced me inside the house. I loved climbing trees all the way to the top, I loved walking with my friends while singing the latest hit on KOFM, I loved playing War with my imaginary gun shooting the enemy that drove by, and I loved thoughts of the future and where I would be.

I always, always, always wanted to be a mother. I wanted to marry a wonder man, til death do us part, and have six children who we would love and raise together. That was my dream.

My life didn't go like I thought it would, it detoured a bit. I had my three beautiful children, but the husbands didn't turn out to be, til death do us part.

So, life takes you on a ride. My ride is still moving and that is fine with me.

When I was in my late thirties, early forties, technology started coming into my life. Computers were the rage, so everyone had to have one. We didn't know how the heck to use them, but there they were and there they stayed. Can't live without one now.

Cell phones came about the same time as the computers. Big boxes in your car or on a sling. Everyone had one, so I had to have one too. Can't live without one now.

Video games and TV with hundreds of channels came next. Everyone had the box on the TV that gave you all those channels, so I had to have it too. Television went from being free to all, to costing half your rent. Can't live without it now.

Children and adults don't play outside anymore, why would they? All the entertainment is inside. The closest I come to playing outside is on my daily walks. I still look at the clouds, listen to the birds, watch the trees bend while being blown by the wind, and dream of my future.

I also think about how different life is for my children and grandchildren than it was for me. They will never know life without the tethers of technology. They will never know what it is to be free. Truly free to think on your own, dream on your own, and make decisions without the influence of the media through all of the technology we cling to.

Sometimes is makes me sad, but it is what it is. I'm not willing to give up my computer or my cell phone or my TV, but I am willing to keep it all in check. I won't be a slave to it and I hope there are others like me.

Broke, Not Broken

2012-01-10T12:20:00.000-08:00

I have gone through all of my savings. I still get a monthly income but it isn't enough to live in Charleston anymore. The cost of living has gone up and my income is the same it was ten years ago.

I will have to sell my house and think about moving back to Oklahoma. I can't say that I mind this idea.

It will be difficult to leave my kids and grand kids, but if I live in Oklahoma, I'll be able to afford flying back here to see them. I think I can buy a pretty nice house there for a much better price than I can get here, and I think I'll be able to pay cash so I won't have a house payment.

At least that's my plan.

It will be nice to live close to friends and family. I don't have any friends here anymore because they all moved. I have lots of wonderful friends in Oklahoma.

Life takes you where you need to go. I have had a good life here in Charleston, but destiny is seemingly leading me back to where I started.

If I win the lottery, I'll stay here.

I'm broke, but it's not the end of the world. I've been broke before. The good news is, I'm not broken. I've been broken before and I'll never be there again. I will be happy no matter what happens.

Not Bad

2012-01-03T07:53:00.000-08:00

I'm off the sugar. It's been 24 hours and I feel great! I feel great because I have a sense of accomplishment for doing something good for me. I feel the same when I mow my lawn and see the result of hard work.

I drink a wonderful smoothie every morning of:

Lowfat vanilla yogurt
Raw Spinach
Raw walnuts
Banana
Cinnamon
Blueberries
Strawberries
Protein powder

This may sound icky, but it's delicious and filling. It gives me an energy boost and makes me feel good and happy. Try it!

Feeling good mentally and physically are absolutely related. If you feel good physically, you feel good mentally. Ask anyone who has been ill for awhile. It's depressing. Your body has to be well for your mind to be well.

I'm not going to post about my diet anymore because I think it's obnoxious to constantly talk about how great and good I am for doing something I should have been doing in the first place. I'm not preaching to everyone in hopes that you live your life the way I think you should. Everyone has the right to live the way they want.

So for me, getting off sugar is a good thing. You do what you want. If you want to change your diet and need support, I'm here for you. If you don't, I won't judge. Deal?

Happy New Year

2012-01-01T08:25:00.000-08:00

I don't make new year resolutions, but I think I need to change my diet. Right now, all I'm eating is chocolate and doughnuts. Of course I'm eating other food as well, like fruits and vegetables, but the majority of my diet is chocolate and doughnuts.

I am so addicted to sugar that I'm afraid if I stop, I'll go through painful withdrawal. I don't like pain. Maybe I should ween myself off the sugar instead of going cold turkey, but I'm not that patient or strong. It's either cold turkey or diabetic coma.

I'm reading the news and noticed that blackbirds fell in Arkansas again this year. Again, they explained it away saying the fireworks spooked the birds out of the trees and they flew into each other, cars and buildings, then dropped dead.

Really? That's their explanation? What about all the fish that died in the river?

What about the the 49 other states that shoot fireworks on New Year's Eve without dead birds dropping? Are the blackbirds in Arkansas more sensitive and squeamish than the blackbirds in other states?

Ohio has had two earthquakes this past week and Japan had a huge one. Is Mother Earth getting ready for her showdown?

I thought it was strange that Oklahoma had earthquakes. Really strange.

I don't know if this is the last year of my life, but I do know that I am not going to die looking like a fat cow. My vanity won't allow it. I'm not keen on the idea of diabetes either, so I guess I'm off the sugar. Boo! I love my sugar.

Happy new year everyone. I hope all of your dreams come true this year.

Narcissist

2011-12-30T06:55:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine who I haven't seen in a year came over the other day. He told me that he has been doing research on Astrology and because I was born under the sign of Scorpio, I can't help but be a Narcissist. It's just part of my basic personality. (We stopped being friends last year because he said I was mean and insensitive, and I said he probable shouldn't be friends with me if that's the way he felt.)

He has struggled for years with the fact that I am always happy and never let situations in life get me down, and now he knows why. Because of my narcissistic tendencies, I don't care enough about anyone or anything to be bothered.

This was a wonderful revelation for my friend because he has resented me for a very long time. Now he can explain to himself why I am the way I am. He can accept me and all of my irritating happiness.

The funny thing is, he's right. I do have narcissistic tendencies. I really don't care what strangers or friends think about me. The only people whose opinions of me I care about are my family members. All of my family members except my sisters. They don't like me for stupid reasons, so they get put in the stranger category.

I really can't be bothered if someone doesn't like me. It's not my problem.

Anyway, I thought it was hilarious that my friend had spent so much time and effort researching my sign in order to understand why I'm the way I am. He cracks me up.

I guess the answer to happiness and peace of mind is to either be born under the sign of Scorpio, or acquire narcissistic tendencies on your own. My friend made it clear that I am not a true Narcissist, I only have the tendencies. Gee, thanks.

Whatever. Who cares what he thinks. I mean... Oh, thank you for figuring that out for me. I really appreciate your concern and I'll try harder to be more caring and sensitive to all.

Hmph. Yeah right.

Whew! Glad It's Over

2011-12-26T10:42:00.000-08:00

Thank goodness Christmas is over. Don't get me wrong, I love the holiday spirit and all, but it is exhausting.

It seems like Christmas comes around faster every year. What's the deal with that?

I feel like I go to bed in January and wake up to Christmas again. Where does the time go? It kind of freaks me out.

Now the new year is coming and it all starts over again. Time swirls by in a flash of sleeping and waking, going through the motions of day to day life in nanoseconds. Is this what getting older is?

I always look forward to the new year because I think of it as a new start. Then I just do the same things I always do.

My son designed a resume for me last night and sent it off to different job offers on Craigs list. It all happened so fast that I didn't have a chance to say no. Guess I'll be getting a job this year. That ought to make time go slower.

Well anyway... I'm glad the Christmas rush is over.

Fifty Years Together

2011-12-24T11:05:00.000-08:00

My favorite aunt and uncle, Jim and Dot Parrish, are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary today. I remember their wedding well because I was their flower girl, and I remember the fear of walking down the aisle trying to get the pedals on the floor exactly right.

My uncle had four brothers but chose my father as his best man. Seems kind of strange, but he and my dad were brothers in every sense of the word. Uncle Jim spent a lot of time with my family before and after he married my fabulous aunt. He lived with us on and off through the years, and was more a part of our family than some of us sometimes.

Jim and Dot had three adorable children of their own. Vacation was loading up a borrowed station wagon with seven kids and four adults, then heading up to Colorado. My family drove to Mississippi several times a year where all of the Parrish clan would gather for chicken and dumplings, collard greens, buttermilk biscuits, and anything else that had lard in the mix.

My memories of growing up with the fabulous Parrish family are fond beyond expression. They were a funny bunch of beautiful people who didn't have a pot to piss in and neither did we. Money wasn't important to us, but love and laughter was everything. We were certainly rich in that.

I'm truly sorry my siblings and I weren't able to celebrate the 50th anniversary of my parent's wedding. My father was dying in the hospital and my mother was barely hanging on. Shortly after, my father died.

But they made it to fifty come hell or high water, for better or worse, in sickness and health. I am in awe of them.

I can't imagine what it is like to spend fifty years with someone you love. I guess it's pretty wonderful.

Time Has Come Today.... Time

2011-12-16T16:31:00.000-08:00

I have had a busy week with babysitting, school recital, more babysitting, family dinner, and a night out with friends.

I'm exhausted, but very happy to have been a part of it all.

Dream

2011-12-09T06:19:00.000-08:00

I had a dream last night about a guy I went out with a couple of times years ago. He was a pilot in the Air Force and many years younger than I, so I didn't take him seriously. He was sweet and funny, and very infatuated with me.

I have dreams about him often.

I wasn't very nice to him, which is why I probably dream about him. I awoke with the same cloud over my head that I always have when I think about this guy and every other nice guy that I never gave a chance.

My M.O. has always been to treat the nice guys like shit and the assholes like kings. This is why I know I'm not ready to find a man that I can have a relationship with. I know I will go for the asshole.

I hate this. I hate it because I want a sweet, funny, wonderful man but I'm inclined to be attracted to the asshole. I am not going to pursue a relationship with anyone until I can change this about myself, and if I can't change it then I would rather be alone. I'm not going to be with another asshole.

I sometimes think, "what if?". What if I had been wiser and picked the nice guys instead of the assholes. How different would my life be?

Well, I can't live in the "what ifs". It's counter-productive and does me no good whatsoever.

So I continue to work on this part of me and be aware of my pattern. These dreams are reminders that there are nice men out there and they deserve to be treated like kings. I can do that, but until I actually DO it, I'm not going to get involved.

By the way, the pilot got married to a girl his age and I wished him well. I am happy for him and I hope she is nice to him because he deserves that.

When I can appreciate being with a nice man, that's when I'll find him. Until that time, I'm happy with things as they are. I don't want to ever hurt another nice guy.

The Difference

2011-12-04T09:27:00.000-08:00

I now understand the difference between Liberals and Conservatives.

I was talking to my drunk friend in Dallas last night, trying to reason with her, and she stopped her ranting to say, "Well, you're such a Liberal."

My friend grew up with money and snobbery. Her parents spoiled her beyond belief, she married three doctors who spoiled her then divorced her, and now she is married to a regular guy who makes a regular salary. She hates being "poor" and resents her sister's wealth, so everything her sister says is taken the wrong way.

My friend isn't poor by any standards, but in her mind she is. Her husband doesn't have the status of a doctor, and that drives her insane as well.

She was complaining to her sister that she and her husband were in dire straits and her sister suggested she get a job. My friend said she wasn't going to work in a retail store with "hicks", which her sister then asked her if my friend was a "hick" for not having money.

My friend went into a frenzy of how she hated her sister, blah, blah, blah. I tried to make her understand that her sister was not calling her a "hick", she was trying to make my friend see how ridiculous it was for her to judge others.

We went back and forth on this until she said accused me of being "a Liberal". I told her being a Liberal had nothing to do with the fact that she is a brat.

So I guess if you are reasonable, can look at both sides of a problem and accept responsiblity for your part of that problem... You are a Liberal.

If you are completely spoiled and blame everyone but yourself for your problems... You are a Conservative.

Now I understand the difference.

The Beauty of Walking

2011-12-01T09:32:00.000-08:00

I try to walk every day. I love to walk when it is cold and crisp outside, and I love to watch the wildlife around me while I do.

Today, I was stopped by a hawk (I think) perched on a fence, yelling something that I couldn't understand. I'm a little crazy, but I honestly believe that birds and other animals send us messages. The trick is to figure out what that message is. Sometimes it is simply, hello.

This large bird on a fence allowed me to walk up to it and ask, "what is it?" It simply looked at me for a very long time. I stood there for a few minutes, then decided to keep walking. Whatever it wanted, I wasn't getting it. It was beautiful though, so I feel honored to have made its acquaintance.

While I was walking, I figured out the end to the novel I have been working on. I've been stumped by the ending so this was quite an A-HA moment. Glorious moment. I couldn't wait to get home and put it in my notebook of notes.

I've said it before, but I'm writing this novel for the fun of it. I don't expect to become a famous writer. My hope is that some day, my grandchildren will read it and like it. That would be cool.

Something different and new happens every time I walk. The key is to open your mind and let it all in. Open your eyes and really see what's around you in detail. I guess you could say, stop and smell the roses.

I believe that we all need to feed our souls every day. It is so easy to get caught up in all the bullshit. So go... Go for a walk outside. Feel the earth, see the earth, welcome the wonder of it all. Clear your mind of all the stress, pressure, and sorrow. Let the love and comfort of Mother Nature embrace you. Enjoy the few moments of peace you can have by feeding your soul.

Catch Up

2011-11-28T12:12:00.000-08:00

I was catching up on MCARP's blog, and couldn't help but laugh at the differences in the pictures he posted of himself. One column is of pictures he thinks make him look good and the other column are pictures of him that he thinks make him look real. I found it interesting that he thinks there is a difference in the two columns.

We all know that we put on a good face for the public, as opposed to the face of who we see ourselves as truly being.

I don't think there is anything wrong with showing the public one face and being another face when we are alone. It's human nature.

When people tell me they know me better than I know myself, or they know me better than anyone, I just laugh at them. No one knows me and I don't know them. I only know what someone wants me know and vice versa.

I am who I am at the bottom of it, but the face I show is determined by how comfortable I am or how I want to be seen.

My mother knows one me, my children know another me, and my friends know another. I'm basically the same with all, but I act according to what I think that person needs to know.

We humans are complicated. None of us are what we appear to be and saying we know someone is only partly true. We know who they want us know.

I'm cool with it. Really knowing someone may not be all it is cracked up to be. I prefer to know what I know about the people I love and leave it at that. As I have written in previous posts, lies are not always bad. We all lie and thank god we do.

So if you are reading this, MCARP, I love you. The guy I know, that is. If I lived with you, I'm sure you would get on my last nerve.

Thanksgiving Is Over

2011-11-25T06:13:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving is over. It lasted about two seconds and now the rush for Christmas is ON. I have never, not once, shopped on Black Friday. I have no idea what it is all about or why everyone freaks out about it. But hey, go out there and wade through the traffic then fight your way into a store so you can save a few pennies. Have at it.

As I was sitting around the dinner table last night with my family, I realized how very lucky I am that I have such wonderful relationships with my children and grandchildren. When I say children, I include my son-in-law and future daughter-in-law. I genuinely love them every bit as much as I do my own children.

I know everyone says they love their children, but some people don't behave like they do. I know people who can't stand their kids, and kids who can't stand their parents. I would die if my kids didn't like me, and I would do anything to repair the problem. Some people let their pride get in the way, and some just don't want the relationship because it is too toxic. I'm truly sorry for those people. I wish I could make it better for them, and if I were Empress of the World, I would.

I know Thanksgiving is over, but I am thankful every single day for my family and friends, so I am not going to let a holiday be my guide for gratitude. I am the luckiest person in the world today and every day. Love, love, love to all.

Empress of the World

2011-11-20T10:29:00.000-08:00

If I were Empress of the World, all people would be required to dance and sing at least once a day.

Laughter would also be on top of the requirement list.

No one would worry about politics because I would be the only making the rules.

No children would be harmed or hungry.

The elderly would be highly regarded for their wisdom, and well taken care of.

Money nor the pursuit of it would be an issue. Everyone would have all they need in the way of food and shelter.

Those who do harm to others would be banished to another planet with no return ticket.

Everyone would work together to nourish the earth and reap its benefits. Water would be pure.

There would be no wars because my people would be happy and peaceful.

Death would come naturally and painlessly.

All would be well, if I were Empress of the World.

Stress and Worry

2011-11-17T08:03:00.000-08:00

I can stress and worry about what's going on in this world with war, government, politics, lack of money, and assorted other issues... Or I can picture the faces of my grandsons and fill my soul with love and gratitude.

Several friends have ended up in the hospital recently with stress related physical problems. They have been consumed with stress over the above issues for a couple of years now and the stress has finally caught up with them. Is it worth it?

I'm not saying that we should all just sit back in apathy and let things happen, in fact I think quite the opposite. I think we should all do our part to change what is wrong and fight to make things right, with the wisdom of knowing that doing your part is all you can do.

You can't change the world in weeks, in fact you may not be able to change the world at all. The truth is, it's not about changing the way others behave or think, it's about taking action. Standing up for what you believe in is all that really matters. After that, what will be will be.

I don't really care what happens, I only care that I did what I could to take a stand for what I believe in.

I refuse to let stress and worry into my life. Been there, done that and all I got for it was a big ulcer in my stomach and years of pain.

The world will go on with or without me, so for now I choose to fill my heart and soul with love, peace, and gratitude. That's not to say I will not bitch and moan about things that irritate me, it's just to say that once I've bitched and moaned, I will forget about it. I will concentrate on the faces of the people I love and I will laugh every day until the day I die. I will dance and sing and watch the clouds floating by. I will bask in the joy of life.

Heart Attack

2011-11-14T06:30:00.001-08:00

I have a friend who is in the hospital with a heart attack. He has been there since Saturday, but I just found out this morning.

He has been complaining about indigestion for a year but he is 30 pounds overweight so I thought is was all that fat sitting on his diaphragm. He also has smoked two packs a day for about 50 years and he doesn't exercise.

He said he has been having small heart attacks for over a month but ignored them. I guess he couldn't ignore the last one.

He is fine now. He goes home today with blood thinners, cholesterol medicine, and a daily dose of aspirin. He sounded in good spirit.

At the risk of making this all about me... I'm really glad he is going home so I don't have to spend anymore time in a hospital. I'm really sick of them.

By the way, my son is mending nicely and is back at school and work today.

Now could everyone just be healthy for awhile? Seriously.

Love, Love, Love

2011-11-11T17:52:00.000-08:00

I LOVE MCARP! I love his blog, I love his Facebook check-in's, I love his sad-sack-self-loathing-distorted view of himself. I just love the man. Everyone who knows him loves him and he is the last person on earth to know why.

Well, we just do. We love him because he is adorable inside and out.

My friend from Florida awakened me this morning with a text telling me that today, at 2 pm EST, the age of Aquarius begins.

That stupid song has been in my head ever since. It is the dawning of the age of Aquarius, age of Aquarius, AQUARIUS... When the moon is in the seventh house and Jupiter aligns with Mars, peace will guide the planet and love will steer the stars. OH GOD! GET THAT SONG
OUT OF MY HEAD

So anyway... love, peace, understanding, and all that jazz.

I have eaten raw garlic and onions today and now I'm going to a movie. I pity the person sitting next to me.

It doesn't matter because, IT IS THE DAWNING OF THE AGE OF AQUARIUS, AGE OF AQUARIUS... AQUARIUUUUUUUUS

My Birthday

2011-11-09T11:59:00.001-08:00

Today is my birthday.

Everyone keeps asking me what I want to do for my birthday.

I don't want to do anything. I want my son to get healthy and recover from his blood clot and infection.

I took a long walk and loved it.

I have had many phone calls and Facebook messages that have warmed my heart and made me feel loved. I consider that quite a gift. In fact, I consider those wishes of happiness and love to be the best gifts anyone can give.

I'm grateful for every friend and family member I have. I'm grateful for this wonderful life I have been given. I'm grateful for this beautiful planet and my good health.

I'm grateful for everything. I love my life.

I am 56 today. I will never have plastic surgery or botox or anything else to alter my looks. I don't want to look younger than I am, nor do I want to go back and recapture my youth. I don't want to date a younger man or wear young looking clothes.

I want to be healthy, I want to walk every day, and I want to look the best I can with what I've been given. Growing older is beautiful.

I wouldn't change one thing about my life.

Today is my birthday. I'm 56 years old.

I'm lucky, blessed, or whatever you want to call it.

Lucky

2011-11-05T05:54:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, my son went to an urgent care clinic to have blood drawn, checking to see if he had a thyroid problem. Two weeks later, he went back to that clinic with a hard painful bump at the site of the needle. They told him to take aspirin and use a heating pad. The next day, his arm was red hot and swollen from his shoulder to his hand.

He went to the emergency room and found out he had a two inch blood clot with a skin infection on top of it. He was admitted into the hospital on Monday and released yesterday.

He now has to take strong antibiotics, pain medication, a blood thinning pill, and two shots a day of another blood thinner.

This was all from the incompetence on the part of the clinic. We are considering hiring a lawyer.

We are told my son will be fine after months of treatment and close watch of his blood.

While I was at the hospital, I met several people who had children there with much worse problems than my son. Three people had babies who were fighting for their lives. One woman had a twenty year old son who was fighting Leukemia for the second time. He was being prepped for a bone marrow transplant today. He has been fighting cancer for three years.

Meeting these people gave me a perspective of how lucky my family is to be otherwise healthy. We have had our health problems, my daughter was in the hospital this time last year and I was in the hospital two years ago, but we have been lucky to come through it all.

Some of the people I met this week will not be so lucky. Parents will have to bury their children, some of whom are barely out of the womb. I can't imagine their pain. It is unthinkable.

So, I will give my son his shots in the stomach and his pills. I will take care of him and worry over him, and thank God every minute for the ability to do it. At least he is here for me to touch and love.

My thoughts and prayers are with those I left at the hospital. I'm the lucky one.

Misinformation

2011-10-31T06:39:00.000-07:00

I have a friend who gives me news that is completely misinformed, but he relays it with utter conviction that it is the truth.

Last year, he told me that the American government was rounding up all illegal immigrants and putting them in concentration camps. He went on and on and on about Hitler/Nazi tactics of this government.

Yesterday, he told me that Warren Buffet is a bad guy because he is buying up all the railroad lines... That's when I stopped listening. I don't know what he said after that because I knew whatever it was, it was probably bullshit.

Last week, he told me one of his fellow soccer players was arrested for molesting his 15 year old daughter. Actually, the guy was arrested for molesting teenage boys at the Christian school where he is the assistant principal and coach. My friend at least got a part of it right.

His information usually has a hint of fact, but no more than a hint.

My friend is like most people in that he doesn't confirm anything he hears, he takes gossip as truth. This is something that drives me insane.

I am a person who does not believe anything I read and nothing I hear. I don't form an opinion of someone based on the opinion of someone else, and I don't believe anything unless I know for sure it true. Finding the truth is not always easy.

Sometimes there is no truth, there is only emotion and here say.

I go on and on and on about this subject because it is important to me. If I can get one person to think independently and search for the truth before forming an opinion, then I feel like I have contributed to life in some small way.

Take everything you hear with a grain of salt, read what you read with skepticism. Be curious. Be wise. Be smart.

Smooky

2011-10-28T07:34:00.000-07:00

My three year old grandson is loving Halloween this year. He thinks it is "smooky"! He is a pirate with sword, eye patch, and hat. So damn cute!

As I was reading the news today, it occurred to me that things are pretty smooky in the world. Protesters getting hurt by police, a thirteen year old boy dying from smoking fake pot, a gay kid getting beaten up on tape, politics in general, and just a whole lot of smooky stuff going on.

Is it the time of year, or has the world gone to hell in a hand basket?

When I am with my grandsons, I forget how smooky things are in the world. Thank god I live close enough to them to escape the every day barrage of crazy shit.

Watch Out

2011-10-19T09:16:00.000-07:00

I've been watching the George Harrison documentary on HBO. I always liked George, but Paul was my favorite. Turns out that George was really the most solid, contentious, and kind hearted of the Beatles. He was also a brilliant song writer.

Here is one of his songs that I think applies now, just as it did thirty years ago.

Beware of Darkness

Watch out now, take care
Beware of falling swingers
Dropping all around you
The pain that often mingles
In your fingertips
Beware of darkness

Watch out now, take care
Beware of the thoughts that linger
Winding up inside your head
The hopelessness around you
In the dead of night

Beware of sadness
It can hit you
It can hurt you
Make you sore and what is more
That is not what you are here for

Watch out now, take care
Beware of soft shoe shufflers
Dancing down the sidewalks
As each unconscious sufferer
Wanders aimlessly
Beware of Maya

Watch out now, take care
Beware of greedy leaders
They take you where you should not go
While Weeping Atlas Cedars
They just want to grow, grow and grow
Beware of darkness

Taxes

2011-10-18T10:41:00.001-07:00

I know it's early to start worrying about taxes, but I worry about them all year. I have the same income every year, it never goes up or down. The cost of living has gone up considerably since I started getting this amount, and if I had been smart I would have thought about that when I agreed to the amount I get.

My income is my alimony. I get it for life and when I first started getting it, it covered my bills and any entertainment I wanted. Now it only covers my bills. By the 15th of every month, I am completely broke. My bills are paid but I have nothing after.

Why don't I get a job? Well, I tried that and no one would hire me. I was a housewife for 30 years and I have no skills other than mediating, negotiating, organizing, cleaning, laundry, driving, and assorted other things that housewives do.

My job history is from so long ago that it doesn't count. When I had jobs, computers weren't in the job scene yet. I'm good with people, but unless I get a face-to-face interview, I can't show the employer what I got. I can't get an interview because everything is done online and I am one of thousands who are applying.

So I sit and ponder my situation. I have the same income with the same tax bill every year.

The problem now is that I no longer have the extra money every month to save for my tax bill. With no savings, there is no money to pay.

I wonder if the IRS would be so kind as to reduce my tax bill to a smaller amount. No? I thought not.

This is why I am worried about how I am going to pay my taxes. I can pay my taxes or I can pay my mortgage. If I don't pay my taxes, I go to jail. If I don't pay my mortgage, I lose my house.

I am in the 99%. I am a part of the millions of Americans who worry and fret every day on what to do and how to do it. How do we live, how do we eat, how do we survive?

I would be better off if I had no income at all. Maybe homeless people have it figured out.

Walking the Walk

2011-10-16T05:39:00.000-07:00

I walked and chanted with the Occupy Wall Street protest yesterday in downtown Charleston. It was all very civilized and for the most part, we had positive responses from the people around us.

There was only one person who gave us the thumbs down and she was a little old lady who smiled while she did it.

The most interesting thing I saw happen was the fear. Before we marched, we had a booth in the park set up to tell people what we were about. Some people actually walked out of their way to avoid us, and some had terrified looks on their faces. Most stopped and asked us what Occupy Wall Street was.

There is clearly a misconception of what this protest is for. A lot of people think we're dirty hippies who are homeless, trying to suck off the teet of the government and thereby sucking off the taxes they pay.

Why don't people do a little research? It drives me crazy how people hear something from someone who heard something from someone who read something... And they think that is the truth no matter what.

I have a beef with the sheeple of this country.

I also have a beef with lobbyists of big companies who have my Representatives in their pockets.
My state representatives are suppose to be representing me and all the others who live in this state, not the pharmaceutical companies, the insurance companies, the oil and gas companies, and the banks.

Here is another beef I have. Why is it okay for the members of the Senate and Congress to have Universal Healthcare but the rest of us can't? Why can they live and work under a Socialist environment, yet constantly scream at Obama for being a Socialist like it's a bad thing?

I just don't get it.

I was telling a couple of my fellow protesters that the Federal Reserve is privately owned by 12 European and American families. They had no idea, just like most Americans. The Federal Reserve is not a government company and we should really stop using it to finance our government.

So I walked the walk and felt great about doing it. I still don't like the ignorance of most Americans, but what can I do about it? Nothing.

I can write this blog and express my views on Facebook, but for the most part, people are sheeple and I have to accept that. But... If any of you who read this blog begin to question what you read and hear, then I feel like I've done something.

So please... Question everything. Research all sides and think for yourself. Form an opinion based on your own personal knowledge, not rumors and gossip. Think about it.

Occupy Wall Street

2011-10-11T10:12:00.000-07:00

I wasn't really sure what Occupy Wall Street was all about so I googled it. One source said it was "un-unified", the other source said it was a great protest "like being back in the 60's". The second one was written by an old hippie who protested in the 60's. I liked his take on it, but I can see the point of the other article too. Everyone is protesting, but protesting for what? Be specific and have solutions to offer.

You can't just sit around and say you don't like the way something is, you have to have an alternative to ponder as well.

The poor hate the rich and the rich don't even care enough about the poor to hate them. I get it.

Everyone screams against Socialism, yet isn't that what the protesters want? What do they want? Do they want Capitalism with a loop hole for the poor? Isn't that what we have?

Why do Politicians get to enjoy Socialist health care, but the rest of the working population doesn't? Is the solution to make everyone pay for health care, or no one pay for it?

I can't even begin to understand the banking situation. I don't understand how they got billions to help people get loans, then kept it all with no repercussions. I can't wrap my mind around billions and trillions of dollars being given for one thing and going to another. I think that is the crux of the protesting but I'm not sure.

Anyway... Protest is always good, but I wish I had a better understanding of the problem and the solution. Am I alone in my confusion?

Shouldn't Have Took More Than You Gave

2011-10-06T10:17:00.000-07:00

The last song I listened to on my walk was this song by Dave Mason. It started me thinking about how we all think we give more than we take in relationships.

It doesn't matter whether it is a friendship, parent/child relationship, or lovers... If you take more than you give it doesn't work.

I'm SURE I have NEVER taken more than I give in my relationships. I'm a giver all the way, and everyone else just takes, takes, takes.

Right.

That's what we all think but it just isn't true.

I know people who appear to give, give, give, but all that giving of themselves is only so they can take in a more manipulative way. If you give with the expectation of receiving, it isn't giving.

I have a friend who always blows his own horn about how he does all these good things for people, and how he is the only one who can mend family fences, blah blah blah. He just gives, gives, gives, and by the way Mary, you are nothing but a taker.

He cracks me up every time he says this . My response to him is that if he is doing all these great things just to have everyone tell him how great he is, then he is the biggest taker of all. Just because I don't tell everyone what I do for them doesn't mean I'm a huge taker, and the fact that I listen to him tout how great he is, makes me the giver.

Ha! We have this conversation all the time, competing for the giver prize. It's stupid.

But seriously folks, giving and taking in a relationship is healthy and just part of the human experience. Don't keep tabs on who gives more or who takes more, because it all evens out in the end if you love someone. Relationships are truly give and take throughout the time we have together, and keeping score builds resentment, which destroys relationships.

So don't be afraid to give and take, just try not to take more than you give.

I'm Old and I Like It

2011-10-04T12:29:00.000-07:00

My 56th birthday is coming up in November, and I have to say that I am happy to be yet another year older. I have always loved getting older because there are wonderful advantages to it. When I was in high school, I couldn't wait to get old enough to graduate. Then I couldn't wait to be old enough to see my kids grown, and now I love getting older because I can look back and ponder all that I have learned.

The older I get, the more wisdom I gain. I understand now that most things I thought were important, aren't. The things that used to irritate me, don't anymore. The lessons I've learned from all the mistakes I've made are immeasurable.

I feel great too. I feel strong and as long as I can walk or swim a few miles a day, I'm happy.

I used to think I needed to socialize every night of the week, but now I'm happy with just one or two nights a week. Some weeks, I don't go out at all and feel perfectly fine about it.

This is a week that I am out three nights, and I am already tired from trying to decide what I'm going to wear. My daughter says I have to wear heels and that is just not going to happen. I have some cute, flat boots that are fine for where I'm going and what I'm doing.

NO HEELS! I have not had one backache since I stopped wearing heels, so what does that tell you. It tells me that heels are the devil.

I found some great jeans at the Levi outlet. They are mid-rise, slight curve, straight leg jeans that fit like a dream and don't give me a muffin top. They are comfortable and chic, and look great with my cowboy boots. I love my cowboy boots.

I'm a jeans girl all the way. You will rarely find me in anything other than jeans, which is another reason I love getting older. I don't have to dress to impress anymore. I can be comfortable at long last.

So bring on number 56! I look forward to another year of wisdom and peace.

Beautiful

2011-10-02T07:13:00.000-07:00

The weather is beautiful, high in the low 70's. I worked in my yard yesterday and will do more today because I can't stand to be inside when it's so pretty outside.

I was reading MCARP'S blog today and as usual, he is talking about how unattractive and uninteresting he is. I don't happen to agree with him. I will say that with his hair long and his beard scraggly, he is not as good looking as he was with short hair and groomed beard. I think he is rather handsome when he grooms.

It doesn't matter what I think when he thinks differently. Whether someone is attractive or not is directly linked to how that person feels about themselves. I, and the women I know, are attracted to men who are secure and confident in who they are.

When I was young, someone told me that beauty on the outside is nothing without beauty on the inside. I didn't believe this person because I was pretty and knew I could get away with anything solely because of my looks.

It wasn't until I got a little older that I realized her words were absolutely true. No matter how attractive or unattractive we are on the outside, others are attracted by what comes from the personality and heart. When I'm a bitch, no one wants to be around me and I don't blame them. When I don't feel good about the way I look, others don't look at me.

I have been married to two good-looking successful men, and I can honestly say that once I got to know who they really were, I was not the least bit attracted to them. In fact, I found them to be ugly.

So MCARP, it isn't your looks that keep the women at bay, it's your lack of confidence in yourself. People see you the way you see yourself.

I have a friend who used to say that all women are beautiful, some are just more beautiful. The only difference is in those who have confidence in themselves and those who don't.

I think this applies to men as well.

The bottom line is, we are all beautiful.

What Do You Do?

2011-09-30T07:41:00.000-07:00

What do you do when you really need a job so you can pay your taxes, but you hate working and you aren't hireable anyway?

Seriously... What do you do? I'm asking.

I've filled out endless job applications that get no response. I haven't worked in 15 years or more, and those were part time jobs while the kids were in school.

I have no more savings and taxes will be here before I know it, so how am I going to pay them? Every penny I get monthly goes to living expenses. I don't mean spa's and fancy vacations, I mean mortgage payments, utilities, and student loan. I don't have credit cards so no debt there.

I keep looking at job opportunities on Craigslist, all of which require computer skills or 2 to 5 years experience in the field. I have neither.

I've been dreading this day and now it has come. I knew when I went through my savings to fix up my house that I would regret spending that money, but it had to be done. My roof was leaking.

I am going to fret and worry about this for another few days and then I'm going to put it out of my mind. I don't handle stress well and what's the point of it?

It is what it is. Something will happen and it will all be taken care of. Right?

Dreams

2011-09-28T07:16:00.000-07:00

Big Brother and I were having a conversation about dreams the other day and it made me think about the different theories on what they supposedly mean.

Some think dreams are prophetic, some think dreams are the subconscious acting out problems, and some think all the people in our dreams represent us in some form or fashion. Sometimes, people who have died come to us in our dreams.

I think dreams are all of these things.

I have always had vivid dreams that I clearly remember the next day, and I can tell what they are saying to me. I used to have nightmares a lot when I was married. Seriously, I did. These were clearly messages of stress and unhappiness with my situation, but also the stress and fear of raising children.

I have also had a couple of prophetic dreams, where the results came true. My oldest son had Alopecia Totalis from the age of 5 to the age of 15. This autoimmune disease attacks the hair follicles all over the body and the result is total and complete baldness. No eyebrows, no eyelashes, no hair anywhere on the body. There is no known cure and the patient is usually damned with it for life.

One night, the summer before my son started high school, I had a most vivid dream that he had a full head of dark curly hair. I remember touching his beautiful thick hair and being so happy that my sweet son finally got his hair back. It was a wonderful dream, and I awoke with the hope that my dream would come true.

It did. That summer, his hair grew back for the first time in ten years. He has had a beautiful, full head of thick dark curls ever since. The doctors said it was a miracle and I believe it.

I have also had dreams where people close to me who have died, have come to me to tell me things. I think just about everyone can have this experience, if they are open to it.

I had a very close friend who died, but I didn't know how. After hearing of her death, I had a dream where she came to me. We were sitting on a park bench under the shade of trees, with the Sun rays beaming through, and I asked her how she died. She said of a brain tumor. We talked for awhile on that bench, I told her I missed her, and then I woke up.

Not long after, I ran into her brother and asked how she had died. He told me she had a brain tumor.

When my father died, he came to me in a dream shortly after. He was young, in his thirties, and so happy and excited to show me something. He said, "Take my hand, Murrah, I want to show you where I've been." He took me through a dark tunnel into a beautiful, bright white place that looked like ancient Greece. He talked of happiness, love, other things, and told me he would be waiting for me.

I know that sounds like a movie, but that is a true story. The next day, I woke up and told my Mom about my dream. She said she had had a similar one when her father died.

I have always been fascinated by dreams and can usually figure out what they are about. Nightmares are the easiest to figure. Stress, fear, anxiety. Your subconscious mind is telling you that it is trying to work things out and it needs your conscious effort to help.

Happy dreams are telling you that all is well, so embrace it and enjoy it while it lasts.

If someone you love comes to you in a dream, ask questions. Make amends if you need to. Enjoy this wonderful experience and see it as a gift.

If you have prophetic dreams, I can only hope they are positive. If they are not, see them as an opportunity to change what you can.

For those of you who don't remember your dreams, I'm sorry. Dreams are the best therapy one can get.

Rain, Rain, Go Away...

2011-09-24T08:41:00.000-07:00

It has been raining here for weeks. Enough already! It isn't that I don't love rainy days, I do. But every day for weeks is a bit much.

My youngest son, the conspiracy theory/Freemason son, listens to talk radio all the time. He came home after work one night and was completely freaked out because some guy on the radio was talking about putting all of the mentally ill people in camps.

My son was freaking out because millions of people listen to these talk shows and believe everything they hear, thinking this rubbish they listen to is great. Yeah, let's put a group of people in camps where we can keep an eye on them. Hmmm... Sound familiar?

So I told my son that I am perfectly happy living in ignorant bliss, not knowing what really goes on. Well... That didn't go over well. It seems a lot of other people living in Germany felt the same way back in the 40's.

Okay, I get it. We have a responsibility to not let the crazy's run the world. But there are so many crazy's out there, reaching millions through the Internet, it's hard to know who has power and who doesn't.

Yeah, they said the same about Hitler. Just another crazy, won't ever have any power, just ignore him.

Then my son tells me about all these FEMA camps set up, supposedly for hurricane victims, but were never used and are sitting in wait for who knows what.

This kid makes me twitchy.

He talks about things that I suspect are true and I really don't want to know about them. He has a passion for making a difference in the world and he thinks we should all stand up to the "wrongs" and do something to make them "right". Be aware of what is going on and speak out.

I agree with him. I just hate that he forces me to take off the veil.

I prefer to sit on my porch and watch the rain coming down.

Politics

2011-09-13T08:19:00.000-07:00

I didn't watch the debate last night but I read about it this morning. Scary stuff, don't you think?

I will have to say that I agree the most with Ron Paul. If I had a gun to my head and the person with that gun in their hand said I had to vote for one of those candidates, it would be Ron Paul.

I'm waiting to see who the Democrat candidates will be.

I seriously can't stand either party, or I guess any party, now that we have the Tea Party in the mix.

I will vote for whoever bans lobbying. Wouldn't it be interesting if D.C. had no lobbyists and they had to vote on issues they researched on their own? Or how about every Senator and Congressman had to vote according to what the people of their state wanted. That would be nice. It would be nice to feel like I have a vote on the issues that affect me.

Ugh! I hate campaign season with all the yada, yada, yada, and the blah, blah, blah. Promises that aren't kept and lies to assure the win.

Politics and politicians don't care about us. Period.

9/11 Thoughts

2011-09-11T09:10:00.000-07:00

I'm probably going to get in trouble for writing this, but I'm already sick of the 9/11 stuff. I mentioned this to my son the other night and he shamed me, so don't get your panties in a twist until you read on.

I agree that we should never forget those who died in the 9/11 disaster. I agree that many hero's died along with everyday people who were just doing their jobs, living their lives. I think we should remember those people and honor them with our thoughts and tributes.

What I'm sick of, is the media bombarding us with the same visuals and audios for a solid week. The other thing I don't like is the flaming of the fire of hatred this brings.

I read an interview with a guy who ranted about his hatred toward foreigners because of the 9/11 attacks. I'm sure this guy isn't the only one who feels this way. I don't like it. I don't like the blanket of hate wrapped around all foreigners because of the actions of a few.

I don't like stirring up this hatred again and again.

No one likes to think about the actions of our leaders that brought on this attack. Are we innocent victims, or did we do this to ourselves? I think every action has a reaction and we are not as innocent as we would like to believe.

Was 9/11 horrible? Yes.

Should we mourn those who were lost and celebrate those who stood up to the plate in heroic actions? Yes.

Of course.

Do we need to be saturated with a recount of it all? No.

One day of remembrance is good enough for me. I don't need a whole week of sadness, fear, and anger.

My thoughts go to those who lost loved ones on 9/11. I'm deeply sorry for their loss.

Word of Honor

2011-09-09T09:19:00.000-07:00

The ugliest and most appalling thing about men these days is the fundamental lack of honor and integrity. This probably applies to women too, but I see it more in the men around me.

My father and his generation of men were of the mind that their word and a handshake were the most binding contract anyone could have. There wasn't a need for lawyers and written contracts because a verbal agreement was solid and irrevocable.

All I hear today is men giving lip-service. I have had two men I know say they would do something for me, give me their word on it, then completely blow me off. The things they said they would do weren't important to me, but the fact that they said they would do them and didn't, makes my blood boil.

One of the guys has sat on my porch and said a thousand times how he is "old school", and his word is his bond. He can't stand men who say one thing and do another, blah... blah... blah.

The other guy has written a book that recently got published, on how to be a man. It's called "The Man Test". He wrote it for his three sons so they would know how to be good men. I guess he forgot the chapter about honor and integrity in giving your word to someone.

I'm sure there are the rare men who actually feel their word is their bond, but I haven't met them in this town. I think the men in Oklahoma are men of their word for the most part. The men I know there seem to be, at least.

I don't know. I only know that if one more guy tells me he's going to do something and doesn't, I'm going to go ballistic on them. I already did on one and I have no problem doing it again.

You would think as screwed up as this world has become, the one thing you could depend on would be honor. But NOOOOOOO... Who cares about honor and integrity when you can just tell people what they want to hear and completely discount it with lame excuses.

Grrrrrrr....

Now What!

2011-09-08T07:05:00.000-07:00

I just read the news about the interest rates going up and the price of houses going down. Been there done that. This is what it was like in the eighties.

It's just a phase, people. Real Estate and interest rates go up and down and upside down every decade or so. The job market is the same. Up, down, upside, round.

People are going to pay higher interest rates so they can get the cheaper house, then they will buy a more expensive house at a lower rate. Either way, we all think we're getting a good deal.

I love my house and will probably never sell it, but I sometimes dream of life without a mortgage and bills. I wonder what that's like.

I still can't find a job and I still struggle after paying my bills. Three weeks out of the month, I have no money. Literally.... No money to live after I pay my bills.

I guess I should be thankful that I can pay my bills.

I read the News and hear all the stories of debt, foreclosure, hurricanes, fire, tornadoes, terrorism, war, politics, unemployment, and the list goes on. Then I walk out to my porch and I sit watching the birds and the clouds and the flowers and trees. I think of how insignificant our problems are in the scheme of things.

Then I think, yeah but our problems are very real to us in our time we have. The balance of the two makes sense and eases the stress.

I know I should stop reading the News, but sometimes there is good news. Sometimes.

Sometimes, I just think, NOW WHAT! WHAT NOW! WHAT THE HELL!

Then I laugh.

Life Isn't Fair

2011-09-05T10:58:00.000-07:00

I was having a conversation with my son today, and he mentioned that growing up he heard his father say that life isn't fair, and I would say to tell me his side of things. I may disagree, but I still wanted to hear his side. Two points of view.

This got me thinking about life being fair or unfair. The truth is, life isn't fair for a reason. We would never learn if life were always fair.

What makes the difference in life, is how we respond to the unfair and fair. If you respond to the good experiences with arrogance and entitlement, you're an asshole.

If you respond to the bad experiences with anger and self-pity, you're an asshole.

If you respond to the good and bad experiences with humility and gratitude, you have learned peace and wisdom.

Life isn't fair, and thank goodness it isn't.

I have observed the behavior of people during this horrible economic time, and it is telling of our society as a whole. So far, the tale is a dismal one.

My Life Or What!

2011-09-04T07:28:00.000-07:00

I can't get a job.

I have silly friends who worry and talk about silly things.

I have my 25 year old son living with me.

I have no money after I pay my bills the first week of the month.

Food is too expensive.

The News is discouraging and irritating.

My beloved Obama has turned into a doormat.

The GOP are psychotic bullies.

Movies at the theaters suck.

My life or what!

P.S.
Just kidding. I love my life. I really, really, really, love my wonderful life and wouldn't change a thing about it.

Whaaaaaa...

2011-08-29T10:32:00.000-07:00

My friend MCARP is under the delusion that a beautiful, ethereal, feminine woman would be perfect for him because she wouldn't expect anything of him. She wouldn't expect him to clean up after himself or wash dishes or be someone he isn't.

Hahahahahahaha....

I fancy myself as being one of those women and I can tell my friend that while we don't expect a man to clean or cook, we expect him to pay. We expect him to pay for food, clothing, housing and entertainment. We expect him to thrill us with interesting conversation and supply whatever our material wants and needs may be.

Oh yes, we also expect him to change into a masculine man who will fight for our honor and make decisions we don't want to make.

I will cook and clean every day of the year, if I have a man who will take care of me otherwise. So, MCARP, before you dream of meeting this ethereal, feminine, beautiful, mystical woman of your dreams, think about the reality of her.

We may not nag and put you down, but our expectations are sky high in other areas.

Why don't you quit your belly aching and actually talk to women of all types. You may be surprised at what you really want.

I honestly don't believe you want anyone in your life. I think this is just a phase that you'll get over as soon as you hire a prostitute to soothe your savage beast.

Good Night Irene

2011-08-28T08:10:00.000-07:00

Someone put "Good night Irene" on their window plywood for the hurricane. I guess they thought if they happened to die in the storm, they would at least have a few catchy last words to be remembered by. I don't know why they would write that on the plywood otherwise.

So, Irene came and all we got in Charleston were a few gusts of wind and a couple of sprinkles. My son and I were swimming in the lake during what was suppose to be the worst of it.

The best of it was the sky. The clouds and colors in the sky were amazing!

I know everyone freaks out when a hurricane is coming, but I don't think hurricanes are half as scary as tornadoes. My experience with hurricanes have been a little wind and water, but tornadoes cause mass destruction to the nth degree.

On another note, my youngest has moved back in with me. The first day wasn't as good as I hoped it would be, but we are getting into the groove now. It's difficult when two people who have lived alone for years, try to live with each other.

My son is much nicer than I am so he is the one doing all the work. I tend to nag and get irritated over the smallest thing. I am really horrible to live with and I feel sorry for him, so I'm trying to be better.

I am still looking for a job. I have some new prospects, one of which is working in the gift shop at Fort Sumter. I talked to a woman who works there and she said they are looking for part-time people. I would drive to Sullivan's Island and catch a boat in the morning to get to the island where the Fort is, then catch a boat in the evening to come home. My view all day would be that of the Charleston Harbor and downtown. Not a bad gig. I like the idea of starting my day with a cup of coffee on a boat going to work.

Well, the excitement of the hurricane is over and everything is back to same old, same old. It was fun while it lasted though. I love crazy weather. Jose is headed toward Bermuda so maybe the fun will continue.

Good night, Irene.

That's Me In The Corner

2011-08-22T06:44:00.000-07:00

My very large guy friend and I were having dinner the other night and he was explaining to me (like I didn't already know) that he has a large personality that fills a room. He likes to be the center of attention at all times.

I am the opposite. I'm the person sitting in the corner watching all the people.

I love the big people who take up the room with their personalities. Those people allow me to sit and observe like I do in a zoo or an art gallery. I find them highly entertaining as well as a good distraction for when I want to sneak out and go home.

Don't get me wrong, I love meeting and talking to people. I love the first fifteen minutes of talking to a stranger. I get all the information I need and then I can move on to others. Maybe that's why I like to work retail. It's a constant hit of the first meeting, like a drug or something.

This is why I love life and I'm always amused by it. We all need a variety of personalities in our lives. I would be bored to tears if everyone was like me. I need the big personalities, the strange personalities, the normal and the quiet. Nothing is better than being in a place filled with different personalities where I can listen and observe. Fascinating!

If you look at life as a wonderful, mystical, magical ride of experiences and people, you are never bored and rarely unhappy. If your life is only about you and your small world, then you are probably pretty miserable. How could it be any other way.

Ugh... If all I had was my small world, I would be bored to death. I am truly the most boring person alive. Fortunately, I have much more to think about than just me. Thank god.

So next time you are in a crowd, look at the person in the corner and give them the gift of your fifteen minutes. That person may be me and I will be delighted to speak with you.

Hmmm... Well.... Uh.... I Don't Know....

2011-08-19T09:13:00.001-07:00

I just realized that I haven't written on my blog is forever. It's the Facebook thing.

Anyway, I was reading MCARP's blog on relationship stuff, "eat shit" this and "eat shit" that. I find it all very interesting, the way men and women are about such things.

From what I understand, men and women are no different. Concerning the yearning of having a relationship with the opposite sex, that is. I hear both parties whining about it all the time. My guy friends whine about women being psycho bitches, my girlfriends whine about men being psycho assholes.

Dear, dear.... So much angst among us.

MCARP doesn't trust women. He thinks he wants a Stevie Nicks type girl who is into mystical, spiritual stuff and who will be completely honest with him. My girls want men who are like the guys in romance novels and will be completely honest with them.

How many times do I have to say it? NO ONE wants complete honesty. We all want to be lied to and we all want the guy or girl who is lying to be good enough at it not to get caught.

There are no perfect men or women, but there are specific types of people each individual is attracted to. I get that. I also get that the one person who decides whether they will be in a happy relationship is the person looking at you in the mirror.

If you're trying to figure out why you can't find the perfect guy or girl, take a good look at you. Blaming the entire population of guys or girls for not being able to find someone is silly. It's all about you.

I am not in a relationship because I feel like I have to give up my identity and my soul to be in one. It's all about me. I know that no man is going to give me what I want until I'm ready to take it, and that may be never.

But I feel that I am in a good situation because I have had the marriage thing, I've had the kids, and I've had the romance. I know it's out there and I know I can have it, I just don't want to do what I think I have to do to have it again. So here I am. I'm happy alone because it beats the alternative to what I know to be true for me.

I have found contentment and peace. No one believes me because no one can believe anyone can be truly happy without being in a romantic relationship. Fortunately, I don't have to prove anything to anyone.

So for those of you who want to be in a romantic relationship and can't seem to grasp it, take a good look at yourself and find the answers there.

Paradise

2011-07-18T06:30:00.000-07:00

While the rest of the country is burning, the weather in Charleston is magnificent. We are surrounded by water and the wind coming off the ocean keeps us nice and cool. Our highs have been in the lower 80's with a breeze and beautiful fluffy clouds.

In the ten years I have lived here, it has never gotten beyond the 90's. Of course it's hot when the breeze doesn't blow, but for the most part the weather is beautiful.

I went sailing yesterday with my British friend and some friends of his. I actually got a little chilly at times. I haven't been sailing since I was a kid so this was a treat for me. It was beautiful.

The dolphins kept us company, we sailed around an island on the harbor with an old fort named, Castle Pinckney. It was built in the early 1800's and truly looks like a castle. We sailed past The Battery, where the historical homes majestically sit with the history of the Revolutionary War and the Civil War marking their passages through time. If walls could speak...

The old Customs building where they brought slaves and auctioned them off to the highest bidder, sits alone on the harbor as a tourist attraction. Sailing by it gives you the shivers.

We went from the old to the new, sailing under the Ravenal Bridge in all its glory, and passed by the new Waterfront Park where you can bring your kids to the playground and walk on the pier past the people fishing. If you want, you can stop and swing while you watch the boats go by.

The politics in SC, and the attitudes of some of the people leave a lot to be desired but there is no denying that Charleston is a paradise that never gets boring. You could do something new every day and never see all there is to see. We don't have sky scrapers here. There are no giant glass buildings or parking lots. What we have is history, architecture, art, culture, ghosts, and the magic of nature.

I wouldn't live anywhere else. Even with all the Yankee's moving here, I wouldn't live anywhere else. No one can ever take away the beauty and awe of Charleston.

Distracted

2011-07-12T12:06:00.000-07:00

I was so distracted with my hatred of Sprint yesterday that I forgot to write about the best part of the day.

Yesterday was my youngest son's birthday! My baby boy turned 25 yesterday.

He had to work so we are going to celebrate on Thursday when he has a day off.

Tomorrow is my oldest son's birthday and he will be 27. Yes, two years and two days apart.

My daughter's birthday is in two weeks. They were all born in July.

I love July.

I love my children and their children.

I love my son and daughter-in-laws, and I love that we all live in the same town.

So happy birthday this month, to my three favorite people in the entire world.

Oh yeah, and to Big Brother who's birthday was the 6th. All the cool people are born in July and November.

Phones

2011-07-11T16:42:00.000-07:00

I have been bitching all day long about my phone that no longer works and Sprint, the company I use for service.

My phone doesn't work.

I hate Sprint.

I have been with Sprint for nine years so do you think they will give me a break? Hell no. No breaks and if I want a new phone or if I want to change companies, it will cost me my mortgage.

I hate Sprint.

But I actually hate all phone companies because they are all the same. I spread my hatred evenly among them.

As my brilliant nephew would say... I hate them with all of the heat from a thousand suns, hate.

I'm paraphrasing but you get the gist.

I know I will be over this hate in time, but right now it's pretty powerful. I guess I'm taking out my hatred on Sprint because I hate being so dependent on cell phones in the first place.

I'm an old curmudgeony woman, kicking and screaming into the twenty first century.

The End of Humanity

2011-07-08T09:28:00.000-07:00

I recently read a news article saying the Indiana schools will no longer be teaching cursive writing to elementary school children. They will instead be taught typing, or keyboarding as they say.

What the hell is going on in this world?

I love to fantasize about the end of the world in 2012, but I don't really believe it. I know this old planet will go on for a very long time no matter how we try to destroy it. Mother Nature will always prevail.

No, it's not the end of the planet I fear, it's the end of humanity. Everyone who knows me knows how much I hate technology. I know technology has made medicine and lifestyles better and easier, but I really feel that technology has taken away our ethics, manners, intelligence, privacy and compassion.

I feel like we are dumbing down instead of rising intellectually. Language and grammar have become obsolete. Now we speak and write in code. LOL, OMG, U R... etc.

I am guilty of using technology too. Instead of books, I now have Kindle. Instead of writing letters, I send emails. I use my phone and computer for everything.

But I still write in cursive. I still use the correct grammar I was taught. I still use a dictionary. I still express myself in long form, putting actual words together to make a sentence.

I worry for my grandchildren and their children. I worry their world is going to be so foreign to me that I won't recognize how to function in it.

Will they want to sit at a table and play cards with me? Will they enjoy going for walks with me or swimming in the lake? Will they be happy with conversation? Will they want to hear what life was like before technology took over? Will they be interested in what I can teach them about herbal healing?

I often go back to my childhood of one telephone connected to the wall and three channels on a black and white TV, when entertainment was using my imagination outside while climbing trees or playing Kick-the-Can. When coloring or finger painting was special. When playing in a parachute was hours of fun. When going out to dinner once a week was a treat and the food was organic before organic meant anything.

I'm glad I'm old. I'm glad I won't live to see what society will be like in the future, because the way I see it going, it's the end of humanity.

Hmph!

2011-06-29T14:14:00.000-07:00

I've been waiting five days for Comcast to fix my internet service. They finally came today and gave me a new box along with a new cable line to my house.

Gee... I feel so honored.

One of these days, I'm going to move to the country where I don't have to do anything but work in my garden and read books.

Oh, yeah.... That's what I do now. Well, you know what I mean. Get away from the trappings of a city. Of course my children and grandchildren will have to move there with me or I'm not going.

Anyway, I'm back online and will thrill you with the stories and thoughts of my life again. Zzzzzzz...

Obsessive/Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

2011-06-24T14:45:00.000-07:00

I know we all throw around the OCD label on people we know, but I know someone who is REALLY OCD. I mean text book really.

I joke that someone who likes a clean house is OCD, or someone who talks a lot is OCD, or someone who drives in circles is OCD, or someone who is a perfectionist is OCD, but until you really meet someone with this disorder you really don't get what it is.

I have a friend who would probably never admit it to anyone but who probably realizes they have it and tries to cover it under the guise of "working hard".

This person takes about 10 to 15 minutes just to get out of their car. This person is also habitually late for everything, and obsessively talks. This person has to explain in great detail whatever it is they are trying to explain. The talking goes on forever and I would venture to say that no one is really listening after the first five minutes. I'm not.

I genuinely love this person and consider them to be a close friend of mine. I find it very sad that they have this disorder because they are never satisfied or happy with anything. Life is a constant up hill battle for them.

I don't want to say if this person is male or female. I don't want to give any clue as to who they are because I treasure their friendship, I just need to write how I feel in order to be more understanding and sensitive.

I am the complete opposite of OCD so it is difficult for me to be around someone who is. I understand this disorder comes from a profound need to have control of ones life, and I see how having this disorder gets in the way of living ones life. It's a catch-22. They have to have control but the control becomes obsessive and then takes over so the person's control is out of control.

God.... It's exhausting just to think about it! I'm sure it is worse for the person living it.

I know there are medications one can take but a person suffering with OCD would rather die than take medication because it takes off the edge they need to survive. At least that's how they feel. There are relaxing exercises or different meditations they can do, but there isn't time to do them because there are lights and locks to be checked, lists to go over and over, and probably other things I haven't even thought of.

My heart goes out to these people. It must be horrible.

I was a little irritated with my OCD friend when I started writing this post, but now I see the error of my feelings. I suffer from insensitivity. It's something I constantly work on.

I feel better now and as we all know, it's all about me. I'm sure that I am textbook something.

Rain

2011-06-24T09:04:00.000-07:00

It finally rained here yesterday and boy was it a doozy. I was on the bridge walking with a friend when it started, and it poured! We had lightening bolts all around us and gusting wind that almost swept us off our feet.

I loved it. I really, really loved it.

When I was young, I used to play in the rain all the time. Living in Oklahoma, we had some great thunderstorms that lasted for days. Big puddles to jump in, mud to wallow in, and warm rain to fill the soul.

I am a huge fan of thunderstorms. They excite and thrill me.

I figure if I get struck by lightening, well... What a way to go! My friend and I talked about being struck as we were dodging the bolts. She has two young children and lots of life to live yet, but I have everything I ever wanted in life and the rest is icing on the cake. If I go now, I'm happy.

It looks like it's going to rain again today and I'm hoping for more thunder. Lots of thunder!

Really, God?

2011-06-23T07:46:00.000-07:00

I went out to dinner last night with two of my girlfriends to catch up and just have some girl talk. I got to the restaurant a few minutes before my girls and sat at the bar to wait for them.

After saying hello to the bartender who I know, I looked beside me to see three guys sitting and one asked me if I was from here. I said I was and asked where they were from, you know... the usual small talk.

Turns out they are hockey players from Canada and New York. One had just signed a contract with the Atlanta team. Hockey in Atlanta? Anyway, I didn't think much of it and figured when my girls got there we would sit at our table and be done with the guys.

Well, I was wrong. One of the hockey guys took a liking to me and decided I was the love of his life. Mind you, they were drinking a lot of beer. My hunk-a-hunk of burnin love had stars in his eyes for me and I thought it was adorable. Who wouldn't?

Hunk asked me if I would be willing to go out with him and get to know him, so I asked how old he and his friends are. 23, 26, and 30.

I just started laughing and said no way, no how, nada, not in a million years. That was my first mistake. Saying no to a 30 year old hockey celebrity who has girls falling all over him all the time is like telling a 5 year old he can't play outside with his friends.

He was relentless in his pursuit, giving me a thousand reasons why I should give him a chance. He was mature for his age, age didn't matter, never seen a woman as beautiful, blah... blah... blah... Young girls are stupid, older women know how to make a man happy. Blah...blah...blah

Heard it all before, son.

One of my girls came in and I suggested we go to our table, told the boys to have a good night and suggested they go to a bar down the street where they could have their pick of beautiful young things.

My girl and I had just settled in at our table and were starting to gab when here comes Burnin Hunk, sitting next to me practically on my lap.

"Why won't you give me a chance?" he says. "Don't you find me attractive?"

Lord have mercy! Then his two buddies come to the table and the rest of the evening is all about them. They are celebrities where they live, everyone knows them, yadda... yadda... yadda.

I finally say I have to go home and Burnin Hunk wants to walk me to my car. Whatever, just want to get to my car. He wants a goodnight kiss, I say no, he wants to see me again, I say what's the point. I finally agree to meet up with him downtown on Monday during the day as friends and nothing more. No touchy feely stuff. I figure that will be the end of it.

As I'm driving home, I feel God laughing at me and I tell HIM that I don't think he's funny one little bit. I told HIM I appreciate the ego boost, but next time I would appreciate someone out of diapers.

I felt God laughing at me the whole way home. Really, God? We are NOT amused.

If Loving You Is Wrong, I Don't Want To Be Right

2011-06-21T09:13:00.001-07:00

Dear Nutella,
We have been friends for many years now and I am writing you this letter to confess that my feelings of friendship have turned into love (obsession).

I know you do not return my love (obsession), but I feel the need to express how I feel so please just listen.

We have had some wonderful times together, hanging out with popcorn and grannysmith apples. They were fun but you were always the one I wanted time alone with. I only hung out with the others so I could be close to you. Your large plastic container, so smooth and beautiful to the touch, the taste of you, the feel of you in my mouth...

I can't get you out of my mind. I want you, I need you, I depend on you and only you for the gratification that nothing else can give. Please don't leave me, Nutella. Please don't hate me for loving (obsessing over) you, I can't help it. You are always on my mind, day and night.

If loving you is wrong, I don't want to be right.

Always,
Mary

Topics of Conversations

2011-06-18T07:24:00.000-07:00

I guess if you live long enough, conversations are recycled again and again. It doesn't really matter if I'm talking to someone I talk to all the time, or I'm talking to someone I meet for the first time, it's always the same.

I feel sometimes that I have wisdom to share with people, but I now have enough wisdom to know that everyone has to learn wisdom in their own time and in their own way. No one wants to hear mine and that is okay.

Here are the topics of conversations that people want to talk about:

Money
Religion
Politics
Relationships
Dating
Movies
Books
Childhood
Future
Goals
Hobbies
Children
Parents
Siblings
Health
Death
Travel
Scandals
Work

Once in awhile, I'll talk to someone who talks about History, and that is a treat. But most conversations are the same, over and over and over again.

I'm not complaining. I really don't have anything profound to talk about either. In fact, I don't talk much at all. I mostly just listen.

I'm just stating an observation that I think about a lot and because I'm not much of a talker, I appreciate people who do have the gift of gab. Those people allow me to socialize without effort, which allows me to appear sociable and normal.

I wonder though, how many other people are like me? How many others want to be in the company of people and want to have that connection, but find it difficult to really be interested?

If I'm around someone who talks too much, I want to scream. My friends here obsessively talk to the point where I question if they are breathing. They have a long stream of words coming out with no intake of air. It's uncanny. I told a friend of mine to stop talking the other day and he was highly offended. He said I was mean. I couldn't help it! He was loud and kept saying the same thing over and over in different ways and it was driving me insane. I just wanted him to shut up for a minute. I kept telling him that I understood what he was trying to say and I finally just told him to stop. Just stop talking for a minute. Gee whiz! Shut up!

So anyway...

I'm okay with the topics of conversations we all have that are recycled, but once in awhile I would like to talk about other things. I enjoy Fantasy, Science Fiction, History, and Science.

Anyone want to talk about those?

Technology and Condiments

2011-05-26T17:55:00.000-07:00

I bought a Kindle today and it is freaking me out! Seriously! I'm looking at it, holding it, looking at it some more, and it doesn't feel like a book. It's cold and unfriendly.

Why did I buy it? I bought it because my house is filled to the roof with books. I don't have room for anymore books. I have them stuffed in all of my bookcases, I have them on the floors of my TV room and bedroom, and I have them in my living room. I can't part with them even though I haven't read many of them.

If I don't like a book, I keep it in case I may like it in the future. My taste in books change throughout the years, so you never know. Right?

I sound like a hoarder but I'm really not. I have no trouble throwing anything else away, just not my books.

So I decided to buy a Kindle. Brrrr.... Very cold in my hands. I'm sure I'll get used to it. Don't ya think? Maybe? Surely I will.

I read Big Brother's blog about ketchup and I have to say that I agree with him. I am not a ketchup fan except on my fries or onion rings, and I too put a pile of pepper on my pile of ketchup. I think it's an Okie thing.

The absolute most disgusting condiment of all is mayonnaise. I hate mayonnaise! It's so gross with its whiteness and sliminess. Yuck!

Mustard is my favorite. I love its sunny yellow color with its vinegary spiciness that makes your lips pucker. I love all kinds of mustard. I love spicy mustard, Dijon mustard, plain mustard. Mustard is beautiful and cheery and happy.

Have you ever had mustard on scrambled eggs? It's delicious!

Just thinking of mustard takes away my stress of having to deal with that cold Kindle sitting in my kitchen being charged. Ugh! Books with batteries. Lord have mercy!

Sorry...

2011-05-22T09:44:00.000-07:00

Sorry... I forgot I had a blog that I was suppose to write on. I am so involved with Facebook that I forget to write my blog. Not that anybody actually reads my blog. But for those few who do, I'm sorry for being so negligent.

Let's see... What have I been doing for the past month?

Well, I caved under pressure of my children and got health insurance, kicking and screaming through the whole process. I bloody hate insurance companies!

I have a guy friend who I haven't seen in a year or two that called me to say he had stopped drinking five months ago. He wants to hang with me cause he doesn't know a lot of sober people.

I have been through several sober times with this friend and they always end with him drinking and getting on my last nerve. So I told him that I am not his mother and will not monitor him, but if he starts drinking, I will be gone. I told him that he is a good guy when he's sober but when he's drinking, he's pompous, grandiose, loud, and obnoxious. I don't have time for that crap in my life so it's his choice.

My guy friends think I'm a bitch but they still want to hang around with me. Go figure.

My newly engaged son just got back from a two week trip to Italy with his fiance. He has a wonderful life and that makes me very happy.

My youngest son just got a real job with salary and benefits. That makes me very happy too.

My daughter has one more week of teaching and then she is quitting work to raise her kids. That makes me especially happy. I'm old fashion that way. Mothers need to stay home with their babies.

I have cut my smoking down to five or six cigs a day. I have never been a heavy smoker, half a pack a day at most, but I realized that most of the cigs I was smoking were cigs I didn't care about. Now I just smoke when I really want one and that turns out to be one with coffee in the morning, one after lunch, one after dinner, and one or two in between dinner and bedtime.

Has anyone noticed how the media dismissed the volcano eruption in Iceland? This news barely got a line saying what happened. I find this interesting.

I also wonder what Obama has to do to get some credit from the Republicans.

I wonder why Sarah Palin continues to get press coverage.

I wonder who cares that Oprah and Katie Couric are leaving their shows. I don't care at all.

I wonder if anyone really cares about anything in the news. How do you get through all the crap to find the news?

I just finished re-reading the last Harry Potter novel, Deathly Hollows. It was just as good the second time around.

My daughter says I need to read The Hunger Games. She says it is really, really good.

Phone, Death, and Socializing

2011-05-01T13:46:00.000-07:00

My phone has been cutting people off every two minutes. It just dies. Why do we carry phones everywhere we go? How did we live without cell phones 30 years ago?

I think we lived very well.

My childhood friend who I love and adore, lost her mother this weekend. Her mother was like a second mother to me. We have been family for 50 years and now she is gone. Rest in peace, Colleen White. I will always love and remember her as the beautiful lady who made me feel loved as a child of her own. Lucky me.

I went out last night with my girls to a new hot spot. The decorating and atmosphere was very cool, a mixture of Morocco meets Studio 54. I actually danced in Studio 54 during its prime, and I can tell you that it was a freaky deaky place. I was young and pregnant at the time.

Anyway... The club was a cool place but the people were same old, same old. A bunch of drunks who thought they were incredibly funny and interesting. I did have a good time though. Met a guy from the UK who was very nice. I talked to him for awhile and then forgot about him until I was walking out the door where he was standing. I said good night to him as I was walking by and he stopped me to get my number. I gave it to him, then walked to my car and left.

He texted me today to say is was a pleasure meeting me. I replied the same.

I'm hoping that if I tell enough people about him, they will stop bothering me about getting out and meeting men. I love meeting men, I love talking to men, I love flirting with men, and I had a great time with it all. But I'm really not interested in getting involved in a relationship other than friendship. Dating is just too much work and relationships are exhausting.

Friendships are wonderful and I will take a friendship over a romance any day of the week.

I harvested my snap peas, green peppers, and collard greens today. Very gratifying, indeed.

The Domino Effect

2011-04-18T07:20:00.000-07:00

I decided to fill my kitchen trash bag up so I could take it out to my large trash can for the weekly garbage pick up. I had some stuff in my refrigerator that needed to be thrown away, so I thought I would clean it out at the same time. One of the things was an old tea cake that was in a gallon baggy. I use the gallon baggies to scoop my kitty litter into so there isn't any smell, so I thought I would take the tea cake out and reuse the baggy. When I pulled the tea cake out, it crumbled into a million pieces all over my floor and refrigerator. Well.... Then I had to pull out the bottom drawer where I keep my vegetables and clean the crumbs. While I was cleaning the crumbs, I noticed there was some dried blood at the back of the refrigerator where some meat that had been defrosting had spilled. So I then had to clean that up. Just when I thought I had everything clean, I noticed some more dried blood! It had been there so long that it turned into dust when I touched it and every time I wiped it, it spread. What I thought was going to be a simple task of taking out the trash, turned out to be a long process of wiping and cleaning. As I was cleaning and cursing, I thought about how life is like this very thing. The choices we make decide the events that will come. I don't believe in sin, mistakes, or regrets, but I do believe that we all have to pay one way or another for the choices we make. I have spent a lifetime learning and paying for some of the choices I have made. It isn't bad, it just simply is. It is life.

Awesome

2011-04-07T10:17:00.000-07:00

Great video of a great old song on Big Brother's blog. Baby Got Back! Love it, love my brother, love life. My girlfriend cooked dinner for me last night, then we went to The Red Drum. We ran into an old guy friend and had some laughs, then danced to the music of an awesome band, then went home. My girlfriend is super sensitive about her age/aging, and the first thing a guy we know said to her when she walked in the door, was something about her being old. Oh boy! Nuclear reaction! The poor guy is socially awkward and was doing the best he could to make a joke, but it wasn't funny to my friend. Damn near ruined her night. I thought it was funny. Anyway... The weather is beautiful here and I just finished my walk/run. I'm going to be working in my yard all day so I can enjoy this awesome weather. Awesome... Awesome... Awesome life. I'm sick of the word, "awesome", it's pretty meaningless now that it has been so overused. Especially in my blog... This blog...Right now. Overused like the dot, dot, dots. .... ... ... ...

Flying

2011-04-02T08:08:00.000-07:00

Flying in the sky with a 3 foot hole in the fuselage? Uh.... All ABOOOAAARD! Train ticket to Oklahoma, please.

Sick

2011-04-01T08:27:00.000-07:00

People always say they never get sick when they really do, but I REALLY never get sick. Until this week. I think I don't get sick because I don't work so I'm not around a lot of people, and I take pretty good care of myself. Whatever the reason, I'm glad I don't have to deal with feeling ill several times a year. However, I am not invincible. When someone who is sick, kisses me on the corner of my mouth, I will get their germs. That's what happened to me. I had avoided getting ill from my daughter and grandson, but could not take the direct hit of germs from my hair guy. Oh well.... A slight cold once a year isn't so bad. I'm feeling better today and plan to make the best of it. I have to buy a new water filter for my refrigerator. Then I want to mow my lawn with my new cool blade runner, and pull some weeds from my garden. I don't know if I will do any of that, but that's what I want to do. I hate April Fool's Day. What a load of bollocks! Why don't they just call it "Idiots Day"? I made the mistake of going online to look at health insurance options and now I have A MILLION phone calls from agents!!! Ugh! I hate insurance and the agents it rode in on. STOP BOTHERING ME! If I want your help, I'll call you. I had two distress calls from two drunk girl friends in two different states. I love drunk girls. Not really, but I do actually love these two friends who just happen to be drunk every time they call me. Even at my age, the drunk calls from girlfriends are still about their men. It's amazing to me how they can still be the same phone calls I got forty years ago. I am very excited that my mortgage payment will now be $300 less a month, all because I changed insurance companies. I love USAA. I must be feeling better. I'm feeling a little giddy!

Brilliant

2011-03-28T06:05:00.000-07:00

I just finished reading my big brother's blog and I can't believe he isn't writing for a newspaper or magazine. Something like The Huffington Post would be good. I think he's a brilliant writer. I love reading his blog, and I can't believe that he spent all those years being a lawyer when writing is clearly his calling. Oh well... Spilled milk. Anyway, I think Big Brother is brilliant in every way, shape, and form. It's not too late for him to send some blogs to a newspaper, online or otherwise. Doesn't hurt to try. My life is brilliant. I live in an amazing city, in an amazing house, where I have the pleasure of seeing nature at its finest. I saw an eagle swoop down and grab a giant fish from the lake yesterday. I watched the fog roll in like something out of a Stephen King novel. I see so many beautiful, wondrous things just by sitting on my porch. That's pretty brilliant. I also, as you know, have the pleasure of having my children and grandchildren living close enough to touch. This is the most brilliant part of my life. I enjoy good health, I have wonderful friends and family, and I really don't want or need anything other than what I have. It's brilliant! As my Brit friend would say, "My life, or what!"

Thoughts and Opinions

2011-03-26T06:21:00.000-07:00

A couple of nights ago, I was having dinner with my two sons and the subject of idiocy in our society came up. My oldest son teaches a class at College of Charleston, and my youngest son is mentoring incoming freshmen at the same school.

My oldest was commenting on how sad it is that the majority of his students can not write a paper with correct spelling, grammar, or sentence formation. He teaches juniors and seniors in college who write like they are in second grade.

My two cents was how appalled I am when I hear news anchors who use bad grammar on national TV. These people are suppose to be intelligent, educated people who should know better.

I hear highly educated people say, "I should have went", "He should have came", all the time! I see people using the wrong spelling of your, you're, they're, there, their, all the time too.

Maybe it doesn't matter anymore. Maybe we are so dependent on technology to correct us, that grammar and sentence formation is becoming obsolete.

Our conversation then turned to manners. Having good manners, which is just plain and simple consideration and respect, is no longer a part of societal behavior. Everyone drives like they are the only ones on the road, customer service is a joke, and people in general are just self-serving and rude.

My final conclusion of the night was... We're all going to Hell in a hand basket. I don't actually believe in Hell, but you get my meaning. We are getting dumber and more ill-mannered by the minute, which does not bode well for the future generations. The intelligent and well-mannered people will have to live in a commune because they will be the minority.

As always, I LOVE spending time with my children. It was a fun, funny night.

Fragile

2011-03-16T10:32:00.000-07:00

You're driving to work worried about being late, or yelling at your kids because they are late for school. You're pulling weeds in your yard, cursing the mole that is destroying it. You're angry at your friend for saying something hurtful or blowing you off, or you're sad because you've lost a loved one. You worry about this or that, wish you were someone or somewhere else, wish you hadn't done this or that.

Then BAM! Out of nowhere the earth starts shaking and a mountain of water is looming over you. Death is waiting patiently while you plead for life.

All of the things that gave you security are gone. All of the things that you thought were important are gone. None of them really matter.

Life is fragile. In the end, the love you give and receive are the only things that matter.

My heart goes out to the people of Japan. I would be very foolish to think it can't or won't happen to me.

Hotflashes and Other Uninteresting News

2011-03-10T06:27:00.000-08:00

I started taking Iodine supplements a few years ago for my hot flashes and was to the point of having none, but I ran out a few days ago. My hot flashes are back in spades, one every twenty or thirty minutes. I really need to get more Iodine! It's on the top of my list today.

Iodine keeps the Thyroid balanced and happy. If there are any questions of whether it works or not, I'm here to tell you it does.

I had given up on my mission to find a comfortable bra and decided to just get a couple of new ones even though I know they suck. Sure enough, after wearing the new one for a few hours, my shoulders starting killing me. Ugh! I hate bra's but I have to wear them.

Seriously... I have to wear them.

My friend told me about the Ahhh Bra, so I ordered some. We'll see if they work.

Why can't I have comfort AND support? WHY?????

One of my girls had a "girls night" at her house last night. It was refreshing to hang with girls for a change. I rarely see my girlfriends anymore so this was fun for me. I soaked up all the Estrogen I could, ate good food and had silly conversation. A perfect few hours.

There was this one woman who I don't like. I don't really know her and I've only been around her a few times, but there is a vibe about her that I don't like. Can't figure it out. It's just one of those things, I guess. I'm having the girls over to my house next week and I'm hoping she doesn't come.

Came home and watched American Idol. There are three people I like, one of which is really talented. A young guy named James who is a "rocker". He's sweet and can sing beautifully. I record the show so I can skim through all the bullshit and the people I don't like.

The wind is kicking up all the stuff that makes allergies go crazy. I take my spoon full of honey every day so my symptoms are minimal. Just a little sneezing here and there, no runny nose or itchy eyes. I wonder why people don't eat honey to prevent colds and allergies. It's such a simple and safe prevention, you would think more people would do it. Some people just find it difficult to believe that organic home remedies actually work.

I have GOT to do get my Iodine! Right NOW!

Twitter, Birthday, Life

2011-03-06T08:36:00.000-08:00

My beautiful grandson celebrated his third birthday this weekend with a Pirate theme. He was adorable, of course. There were buried treasure chests, coloring books, cupcakes, pirate masks, and the best of all, a huge jumping tent.

After the playmates were gone and it was just family, my daughter and her husband got in the jumping tent with my grandson and had a blast. Then my son got in and they were all three years old again. So damn cute!

I left them to meet up with my guy friend at Barnes & Noble, where I bought $100 worth of Disney movies for my grandson. I figured we could extend his birthday through the week.

My guy friend and I went to see Adjustment Bureau with Matt Damon. I left feeling nothing about the movie so I guess I didn't like it. I didn't dislike it or like it. I didn't anything it.

I'm still trying to like Twitter. Why does everyone love it so much?

I'm reading a book called Ghostwritten, by David Mitchell. I don't like it either. I have now listed three things I don't like. I want to like it, and I'm sure if I were more of an intellectual I would find it interesting, but I find it annoying instead.

I just read on the News that the end of the world is coming in May of this year. Ho hum... Who cares?

It is funny to me how the crazy's come out in unison. Charlie Sheen, End-of-The-World- Looney's, Huckabee, and always good old Sarah Palin. Good stuff.

Talked to Mother this morning. Lots of doom and gloom going on around her but she's okay. Tough lady, that one.

That's about all for now. A new week beginning so I'm sure there will be more.

March 3

2011-03-03T07:44:00.000-08:00

I am pulling weeds in my yard today. I shopped yesterday, buying clothes I don't want or need, so today I am pulling weeds in order to feel productive.

It's so windy here, there are whitecaps on my lake. I love windy days, they remind me of Winnie the Pooh playing with his friends on a blustery day.

I joined Twitter so I could keep up with my stubborn brother who refuses to join Facebook. So far, I'm not a big fan. It's all too much for me.

A friend of mine came over last night because he had a fight with his wife. I was reminded of my own marriage and felt grateful I was no longer in that situation. He left my house to go sleep in his office. Ugh! Thank you, God, for my wonderful life I have now. No fighting, no tension, no stress. Just peace.

Tomorrow is the third birthday of my beautiful grandson. Time flies.

Today is another perfect day in the life of Mindovermary. I hope everyone is as happy and as thrilled to be alive as I am.

Exciting and Interesting Things

2011-02-27T07:19:00.000-08:00

First, let me say that One should always listen to their Mother. Years ago, my mother told me to change my auto and home insurance to USAA. I waited until yesterday to do it and realized that I have been gouged for years by State Farm. By switching to USAA, I am saving thousands of dollars on my insurance. My mortgage bill will now be a few hundred dollars less a month, and my auto insurance bill is going to be almost nothing. For someone like me who lives on a budget, this will make a huge difference in my life.

I have to live with the fact that I've been an idiot for so long, but I'll get over it.

CNN has an article about John Dominic Crossan who is a Jesus scholar and an ex-Catholic priest. He spends his time lecturing and writing about the life of Jesus. The historical life, not the life portrayed by religious leaders of today. Crossan is interesting and I love how he challenges Christian beliefs while being a Christian. It's refreshing.

I have finished with my tax stuff, paid my bills, taken care of chores I didn't want to do, and now I am ready to relax.

I take care of my new, perfect grandson on Mon., Tues., and Fri. of every week. The love just keeps pouring. I'm the luckiest person alive.

The Revolutions going on in Yemen, Egypt, Libya, and other places in that area, are amazing. There are those who think Obama is being a wimp, but I think he's brilliant in the way he is handling this. He is letting the people empower themselves.

The U.S. does NOT have to invade and conquer all the time. Standing back and letting things happen is the way we should be when there isn't a threat to our country. I think it's refreshing to have a President who is wise. The young people of these countries are clearly able to take care of themselves and make their demands of freedom known.

Of course there are some people who believe that EVERYONE is a threat to our country and we should fight to protect our investments. I call bullshit on that. Let the dust settle, then negotiate and work together for the better of all countries and their people. In the mean time, let's concentrate on our domestic problems because we've got plenty of them.

Life is interesting and exciting these days. I dig it.

Grow UP

2011-02-24T07:36:00.000-08:00

I am sick and tired of the split in this country of Liberals vs. Conservatives. I've said it before and I'll say it again... Grow up!

The emotional knee-jerk reaction on both sides is counter-productive and ludicrous. Nothing gets done, neither side is right, and it is a constant battle of who is going to win.

Well guess what... No one wins. We all lose because the battle of, "I'm right and you're wrong" is always a losing battle.

In my life, when I am arguing with someone who feels as strongly about an opposite view as I do about mine, I ask myself if I would rather be "right" or happy. What is the real issue in this argument and how important is it to me to be right? Is there a compromise?

Where are the voices of reason in Politics?

I have a friend who lives in New York City, who vehemently supports Mayor Bloomberg for his ban on smoking in public parks and beaches. I say this is a "Big Brother" action that should be looked at carefully, and my friend compares me with Sarah Palin and Michelle Whats-her-face. I'm either with him or against him, there is no room for opposite opinion or clear thinking.

The NYC Mayor hates smoking and smokers and wants to take away any and all Rights they may have because they throw their butts on the ground. I say instead of banning smokers in public areas, put trashcans and ashtrays in public areas so the smokers don't throw their butts on the ground.

When I smoke in in public places, I always throw my butts in the trash can. I sometimes have to walk several blocks to do it, but I'm happy to because I don't like to litter.

Cities all over the world have banned smoking inside buildings and I agree that it has created a more pleasant environment, but if you are going to make people who smoke, smoke outside... put out ashtrays. The reason people throw their butts on the street is because there isn't anywhere to put them.

It is clear to me that this is a civil compromise and that we should be able to compromise for the better of everyone on all issues. We could and should look at every issue with a question of what is fair to everyone involved, but it always comes down to "I'm right and you're wrong".

I know I'm dreaming, I know this will never ever happen. I know when the ego is involved, there isn't any way in hell for compromise or critical thinking, but do you think that maybe some of our Politicians could step off the playground for a minute and just ponder the situation? Do you think that WE could grow up a little and stop thinking that our side is right and the their side is wrong? That maybe we are ALL wrong?

Hey... I can dream can't I?

Life Lessons

2011-02-22T06:15:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine who has an estranged relationship with his Mother, asked me to listen in on their phone conversation last night. It was very sad.

This 70 year old woman has five children who won't speak to her and want nothing to do with her. My friend is trying to figure out a way to patch his relationship with his Mother.

As I listened to her, all I could hear was her desperation and pain.

When they finally ended the conversation, my friend called me back to ask my thoughts on her. I think he was expecting me to confirm his feelings about her but I didn't. In fact, I thought he was dismissive and kind of mean to her. I told him what I thought, we talked about it and he felt bad about it and called her back. I didn't listen to that conversation because I couldn't take anymore of it.

My friend really wants a good relationship with his Mother and he's trying, but it's going to take a long time and he has to forgive and accept her for the way she is instead of trying to make her what he wants her to be.

This is a lesson I had to learn as well. It took me years to understand that my Mother was simply being who she is and doing the best she can. It was I who needed to change, not her. Once I learned this lesson, I began to see her in a whole new light and now she and I are very close. I can honestly say that I love my Mother very deeply, and I love her unconditionally.

I was thinking about lessons I have painfully learned in my life. One thing I know is, when I have a problem with someone, it always has to do with me and not them. We all get through this life in the best way we can and I can not fix or change anyone. It's really not my job, although I sometimes think it is.

I arrogantly think I have the power to fix and heal the wounded, or change the confused who don't recognize that I am the authority on how to live life.

I love learning life lessons because when I learn, I free myself from all the stress and anxiety and anger of thinking I know best.

Acceptance and unconditional love is the only way to go. I have enough of my own issues to work out, I don't need to tell anyone else how to live. Everyone has to learn in their own way and in their own time.

I resign from my position as Queen of the World.

Loverly

2011-02-19T20:49:00.000-08:00

My oldest son and his girlfriend are remodeling their bathroom, so they are spending the weekend with me.

They cooked a delicious dinner for me tonight and played cool music on the stereo.

We sat at the table like civilized people and had conversation, then we cleaned.

They are a lovely couple and I adore having them with me.

Tomorrow, the rest of my clan is coming over for hamburgers. I'm going to let them taste a remake of a Johnny's burger.

It's been in the high 70's here.

Isn't life loverly!

Alligators

2011-02-11T08:41:00.000-08:00

A few nights ago, I was pondering all of my mistakes and regrets of my life. I thought I had reconciled these years ago so I was surprised at myself, but figured I needed to do it again and let it happen.

I guess we all have to spend some time beating ourselves up just to keep things real, but it isn't something I enjoy doing. I mean honestly, do I really have to go back into my childhood mistakes? Yes, apparently I do.

So anyway... I spent some time beating myself with a whip and then went to bed. It's EXHAUSTING to relive your entire negative life! Shish!

That night, I had a dream that I was surrounded by alligators. Hundreds of alligators, lifting their heads and opening their jaws to bite and eventually to devour me. They snapped and hissed with every step I would take. I was hopping from one place to another, trying to find a safe place to land and escape. I looked for vines to swing on, bridges or trees to climb, anything to get out of there. The alligators were closing in when I finally awakened.

When I opened my eyes, I started to chuckle. I sat up, looked at my kitties and said, "Well how OBVIOUS was that!?"

The alligators were clearly my regrets biting at me and I was so tickled by it that I had a wonderful day. Every time I thought about those alligators snipping at me, knowing they were my regrets, I just giggled at the simplicity of my mind and the obvious message.

Pondering regrets is only a good idea if you learn something. If you make the vow to be aware of your behavior regarding certain areas of your life, and you keep yourself in check when they arise, then regrets are good.

If you ponder your regrets and just beat yourself up about them without using them as a tool to grow, then it's a waste of time to even think about them. Don't bother.

If you ponder your regrets so you can feel sorry for yourself and tell yourself what a horrible person you are, you're an idiot and don't talk to me. I can't stand Victims.

I'll never look at alligators again without affection. Lovely creatures they are.

Big Deal

2011-02-06T08:30:00.000-08:00

What's the big deal with Reagan's 100 birthday? Who cares? Why does everyone think he was such a great president?

I don't get it.

What's the big deal with Lindsay Lohan stealing a necklace? Who cares?

Ugh.

What is the big deal with 95% of the News? Who cares?

Boring and irritating.

I don't care about Reagan or Palin or Lohan or the Super Bowl. I want more information on Egypt and how the U.S. is handling the situation. I want more News about Tunisia. Remember them? They started the whole Revolution of there!

No offense, but I really don't care about the weather. I care about my friends and family who are in the bad weather, but I don't have to read that it's snowing again. I get it.

That's all. I'm just bitchin.

Dear Everyone In Oklahoma and Texas

2011-02-05T09:04:00.000-08:00

Dear People,

I have read and talked to many people in the Oklahoma, Texas region (I guess you call it Central U.S.) and I know you are miserable because of the weather. You are snowed in and have been for what seems like weeks. All of you are going crazy in your homes and I really feel sorry for you. Really, I do. So sad...

It is in the 60's here in Charleston. It was in the 70's last week.

We have had wonderful weather here! Warm breezes are blowing today, with a touch of rain that brings humidity for my skin. Really... It's beautiful.

We are out and about, shopping and eating, meeting up with friends and family.

It's glorious here in Charleston.

So sorry you live in Snow/Ice Hell. I would write more, but I really want to walk in this lovely balmy weather.

Love Always,

Mindovermary

So Much To Do

2011-02-01T10:39:00.000-08:00

There are about a million things I need to do and I don't want to do any of them. I need to change my home and auto insurance company, I need to get my taxes done, I need to walk, and I need to clean my house.

I'm doing laundry, so that's one thing that is getting done.

I need to go pick up my new contact lens. Still trying to get the prescription right.

I need to get on a good sleeping schedule. Staying up until 3 or 4 and sleeping until 10 or 11 isn't good. Or maybe it is. I'll let my body do the schedule.

The weather was beautiful here two days ago and now it's cold again. Me no likey. I have no incentive to get out when it's cold.

The World News is very interesting right now. I wonder how it will all pan out in Egypt. I wonder how the health care debacle will pan out here. This country is so stupid about health care.

I wonder if Kelsey Grammer will be happily married to his next wife. Just kidding... I really don't care at all, but it's all over the News. I don't care about Charlie Sheen either, but he's on the News too. Stupid News.

I need to have a manicure/pedicure soon.

I need to get my hair colored and trimmed.

I need to eat lunch.

I need to take the laundry out of the dryer and put more in.

So much to do...

Good Intentions

2011-01-29T08:08:00.000-08:00

After talking to Mother last Sunday, I made plans to go and do things all week. I was going to go to a party on Monday, a lecture on Tuesday, dinner on Wed. and Thurs., and something last night. I wanted to have something to tell Mother when I talk to her tomorrow so she wouldn't think I was such a social loser. Actually, SHE doesn't think I am, I do.

Mother always has a list of social gatherings for the week and I don't, so I thought I would try it.

Well... I had good intentions, but it was so cold Mon. night and the party was downtown and I was snug as a bug on my couch, so I didn't go.

It rained on Tues. and the lecture was downtown and it always floods downtown, so I didn't go.

I DID have dinner with friends on Wed. and Thurs. but was home by 9.

Yesterday evening, I walked the bridge with a couple of friends, ate dinner out and was so tired and sore from the walk that I went to bed at 9 and slept 12 hours.

I can't keep up with Mother. That was my one and only attempt to even try.

I'll call her tomorrow with my head down and my tail between my legs, admit that I didn't do what I intended to do last week, and accept the shame of it all.

I'm contrary and anti-social. Mother will just have to live with it. It is what it is, and by the way... Have I said how much I love my life? Hee...hee.... LOVE IT!

Men Tell The Truth

2011-01-23T07:30:00.000-08:00

I went out with four women last night to our favorite, The Red Drum, and I was listening to one of the girls talk about her short marriage. She told me that after being married for three months, she found out her husband was cheating. I asked her how she found out and she said he used her laptop to go on a dating sight. My response was he obviously wanted to get caught because a man who wants to cheat and get away with it, does it.

It was as if a light went on in her head. "You're right!" She exclaimed. "I haven't thought about it like that!"

We then discussed the difference between men and women. I explained to her that in my years of observations of men and women, I found that men don't lie. They tell women exactly where they stand, how they feel, and what they want. We women just simply don't listen.

I explained to her when a man says something, he really means it. When a woman says something, she means several different things. For example, if a man and a woman are going out and she asks her man how she looks, he tells her she looks good and that's the end for him. But the woman thinks he's lying and goes through a bunch of over-analyzing thoughts in her head, coming up with the assumption that he really doesn't mean she looks fine. Then the bickering begins. "Do you really think I look good, or are you just saying that so we can leave?"
"I really think you look good! Beautiful!"
"No you don't! You're just saying that so you can get me out the door! I look like shit in this outfit... I'm changing!"

When a woman is angry or disappointed and her man asks her what's wrong, she will clam up and respond with, "Nothing, I'm fine." He, being a man, takes this at face value. She then becomes furious because he doesn't question her on the subject to pull out of her what is really going on in her head. He thinks she is telling the truth, nothing is wrong, and goes about his business. She explodes.

Men do not read minds and they do not analyse every little thing. Women need to understand this.

I explained to my girl that men are simple and it's we who are complicated. We females over-analyze everything to the inth degree and we refuse to listen to what men are saying. Life would be much easier for women who are looking for relationships, if they would just listen.

If a guy says he doesn't want to be in a relationship or get married, or he isn't comfortable with intimacy, or he doesn't like perfume... He's telling the truth. He's not saying these things as a challenge to change him.

I then explained to her that body language is an important and vital skill. She wanted to test me on this, so we picked out a couple at the bar and I explained to her what was happening. The woman was having a conversation with the Bartender while her man was sitting with his entire body turned to face her. At first glance, it looked like the woman was angry and giving the Bartender a roasting, so my girl said she thought the guy was a beaten man with his shoulders slumped and the woman was dominating him.

I said that the man was giving his undivided attention to the woman and seemed very relaxed and happy in their relationship. The woman was telling the Bartender something funny in a deadpan way. The Bartender was laughing, the woman laughed at the end of her conversation, and her partner was clearly happy with the whole thing.

My girl said I was a genius and she wants me to do Seminars for women. She said she used to book Seminars for self-help gurus and she and I could make a lot of money off my insights.

People say a lot of things in a bar when they are drinking. I don't pay any attention. Besides, she's a woman and women are masters at lying. We all know that's true.

I love women but being one myself, I know the truth about us. That's not to say we aren't fabulous creatures, I'm just pointing out the reality of the differences between us and our men folk. We are different.

I think men and women want the same things, we just go about it differently and we women make it more difficult for ourselves.

So Ladies, listen to your man and give him the same honesty in return. It will make your life much easier and more pleasant. Tell your man how you honestly think and feel, don't analyze everything they say and do, be observant.

What Do The Simple Folk Do?

2011-01-21T07:11:00.000-08:00

I happened to catch the end of Camelot the other night, and remembered when my friend Carolyn and I sat in the Tower theater and sobbed our eyes out to this movie. We didn't just have tears running down our cheeks, we actually SOBBED. In fact, we were so loud that people behind us were shushing us. I watched that movie, in that theater, five times at least. I loved it, loved it, loved it.

I still love it.

There are some really good new shows on TV this season. I know some TV Snobs who refuse to watch it because they think it's drivel, but some of the shows are really good.

David E. Kelly has a new one called Harry's Law. Cathy Bates stars in it and she is, in my opinion, a good actress.

Piers Morgan, who has taken the place of the ancient and boring Larry King, is a good interviewer and has interesting people on. Condolese Rice was on the other night and I learned things about her that I found quite interesting.

Oprah was his first interview. I can't stand Oprah, but I thought her interview was quite telling. She said two things that I hope people heard. The first was that when she had her baby at fourteen, she had no connection to it and was "relieved" when it died. She was happy to be able to start her life of greatness. The second thing she said was that she her soul purpose in life is to be "the Messenger". The "Messenger" of love, tolerance, forgiveness, etc.

She creeps me out. I have never heard anyone who so clearly has a Jesus Complex and who is so completely Narcissistic. Yikes! Scary!

Anyway...

What do the simple folk do, King Arthur? We watch a lot of TV then go on and on about it in our blog.

La Di Da...

2011-01-16T08:14:00.000-08:00

As I have said before in this blog, most of what I have to say is posted on my Facebook page. It's much easier to say what I want to say in a couple of sentences.

But I love writing my blog once in awhile too. I'm sorry to you who are not on Facebook and have to wait for me to write something new here. Well... It's not like I have a big fan base on this blog. I really don't know how many people read this, if any.

Anyway...

I went to see The Black Swan yesterday and thought it was a complete bore. Zzzzzzz....
I don't understand why people are going crazy over it. I've heard, "brilliant", "amazing", and "great", when describing it. I thought it was boring, predictable, and bad.

On the other hand, I thought The King's Speech was amazing, brilliant, and great!

Oh well... To each his own.

I have been trying to tweak my new contact lens in order to see clearly, and I can't seem to get the prescription right. One was great for distance but horrible for reading. The next was great for reading, but horrible for distance. The third pair have been great for reading, and fair for distance but not completely right.

I was babysitting for my grandsons on Friday night, and needed to take my contacts out. They were bothering me, so I used some of my daughters solution to put them in. The next day, I put my contacts in and it was as if I had thrown acid in my eye. Even the skin around my eye was burning. I immediately took them out and washed them, along with flushing my eye, but the damage was done. My eye was beet red.

Apparently, the solution she uses is some kind where you have to mix it with something and do this and that. It really was acid I put in my eye.

It's better now. A little pink but better.

I think the message from the Universe is that I shouldn't wear contact lens. But I want to wear them, so the Universe will just have to get over it.

I talked to my Mom this morning, as always, and she asked me what I had going on this week. Well.... uh.... I don't know.

She then told me what she had going on. A meeting here, a function there, dinner with friends, breakfast and a movie, etc.

I could feel the giant L forming on my forehead.

I don't have schedules or friends or functions. I only have this day, then the next day. If something comes up, I do it. Is that so bad?

If loving my life is so wrong, I don't want to be right.

One of my Facebook friends told me I haven't met the "right" man yet.

Ha! No shit.

My Mother's friend says she doesn't want a man who would want her. I think that's funny and probably true of most people.

Caleb the cat is very angry with me for no longer letting him outside of the porch. He screams at me and does bad things. He and I are in a relationship that is once again, one sided. I give and he takes. Story of my life.

Bad Day

2011-01-11T09:02:00.000-08:00

If your day starts out with you jumping into freezing water to save your cat... It's a bad day.

My cat, Caleb, hasn't figured out yet that the lake we live on is water. In the Winter, it's very cold water. A few years ago, he jumped or fell into the water around this same time, and he almost died because I didn't know he was in the water for a long time. I rushed him to the Vet and he survived.

Today, he jumped or fell into the water, and I got him out shortly after. I wrapped him up in a towel along with a heating pad and he is now lying comfortable on the heating pad after a good licking of his entire body.

His sister, Sophie, has no desire to comfort him or help to keep him warm by cuddling him. She has had it with his dumb ass.

If you wake up and listen to, or read the news as I do... It's a bad day.

Some Baptist church fanatics from Kansas are going to picket the funeral of the little girl who died in Arizona. She is Catholic and they hate Catholics, Fags, and pretty much everyone who isn't a part of their church.

The media of course, is giving the shooter and his family lots of coverage. Why?

Rush Limbaugh is having his say... Always.

Why? Why do we keep listening to this idiot and giving him air and print time?

A tsunami hit Australia, on top of the flooding they were already experiencing. Now that is news. I'd like to know what's going on over there, but it's barely a mention.

If it's so cold that you can't walk... That's a bad day.

I love to walk but it's too damn cold. I may do it anyway because I'm sick of sitting in my house.

Yes... Today started out crappy, but I think I'll turn it around and make it a good day. I'll clean my house and go out to lunch and go to the book store for coffee and browsing.

Screw the bad and bring on the good!

HOA

2011-01-07T13:13:00.000-08:00

Before I moved to Virginia in 1989, I had never heard of a Home Owners Association. We didn't have one there until we had lived there for a few years and even then it was voluntary and about $20 a year.

Now every neighborhood and condominium has HOA's with high fees of up to $1000 a month or more.

When I moved into my house here in Charleston, the HOA fee was around $500 a year. This year I got a bill for $644, paid it, and a few weeks later got a letter in the mail saying they had refunded my money because, Oops! They forgot to tell me they had raised the fee 10% and my new bill is $709.

Well, I don't know about anyone else, but I live on a set income that barely pays my bills every month. It isn't easy to come up with a lump sum at the end of the year, right after Christmas, to pay the stupid HOA.

I asked if I could make monthly payments and they said I had to write a letter and the Board would review it and get back to me.

What kind of bullshit is that?

First of all... Why can't I just send an email? They can print it out if they want.

Secondly... They are lucky to get any money from me at all.

Here's the thing... If you don't pay the bill, they put a lien on your house.

What kind of bullshit is that?

Honest to Pete, I want to get the hell out of this ridiculous hell but I don't know where I would go. HOA's are everywhere!

Argh! I'm so over it!

Conversation

2011-01-05T07:34:00.000-08:00

I went to a local bar to pick up lunch yesterday and as I was waiting, two guys were having a conversation at the end of the bar. I guess they had been there awhile having some beers in the middle of the day.

First Guy: My wife is pissed off cause I was suppose to have lunch with her and I didn't show up. Listen to these texts! Thanks for having lunch with me, I waited and waited!
You need to come home NOW!
I have to take my car in, NOW!
Where are you! Come home NOW!
Man, she is such a bitch! If I tell her I've been sitting at a bar drinking some beers, she'll go crazy!

Second Guy: I know what you mean. If my wife knew that I got off early today and came here instead of going home, she would kill me!

First Guy: So what do I do, Man? I mean, why can't I have I a few beers with my friend? Why do I have to put up with her shit? She don't even work, just sits home all day doin nothin, bitchin at me.
Second Guy: Do you have kids?

First Guy: NO! That's what I mean... She don't do nothin! I don't know, Man, I just want to have some fun and enjoy life. I don't know what to do. What would you do?

Second Guy: Here's what you do, Man. You just tell her what she wants to hear then do whatever you want. That's what I do. You can't go home and tell her the truth. Just tell her what she wants to hear. That's what I do. That's how you handle all people! You just tell them what they want to hear, then do what YOU want to do.

Five minutes later, the First Guy gets up and leaves.

I'm smirking the whole time and this guy next to me starts laughing and says, "Are you listening to those guys?" I told him yes, and aren't they great? My food comes and I start to leave, the guy next to me says, "Better get home or your husband will get mad." I say, "No he won't, cause I'm going to tell him what he wants to hear and then do what I want."

Seriously?

2011-01-04T10:08:00.000-08:00

Thousands of birds and fish just simply dying for no reason and it's because of "lightening or fireworks"?

Really?

So were the same conditions happening in Louisiana when those birds and fish died?

Whatever it is, government experiments, Mother Nature, the Apocalypse... Whatever... It's coming my way and I'm not diggin it.

I've already decided if birds drop in Georgia, my kids and I are out of here.

I wonder if it has something to do with the Lunar Eclipse.

I don't know. I do know the media and officials will never let us know the truth.

I finally got some contact lens. I haven't been able to see clearly in two years. My glasses broke a couple of years ago and I didn't want more glasses, so I just went blurry and used reading glasses. Glasses are a pain. I like the Contacts.

I got the multi-focus and now everything is really clear and ugly. I see all the dirt in my house and all the wrinkles on my face. Ugh!

Anyway...

Keep an eye out for more dead birds in the Southeast.

Not Unusual

2011-01-02T07:36:00.000-08:00

One thousand Blackbirds dropped dead from the sky in a little Arkansas town on NYE. The Game and Fish Commission says it's not unusual for this to happen.

Well I've never seen it or heard of it happening, so I think it's unusual. Kind of freaky-deaky, if you ask me.

I watched a really cool Indie film last night called 1900. It was about a guy who was born on an ocean liner on NYE, 1900. He was left in a box and one of the workers who shoveled coal in the ovens found him and named him 1900. The boy grew up on the ship and never touched land. He became a musical savant on the piano and entertained the thousands of people who sailed back and forth on the Atlantic.

That's all I'm going to say about. You have to watch it to understand why it was so good.

I spent NYE with my daughter's family. I always have fun with my little girl and her little family. We ate, danced, and laughed. What better way to spend a holiday?

Fireworks are legal in this town. Anybody can buy them and shoot them. My neighbors love to have extravagant displays of fireworks on July 4 and NYE. The whole town sounded like a war zone. My house was shaking.

I like it but my cats FREAK OUT.

As I said before, 2011 will be another good year for me because every year is good. If I'm alive... It's a good year.

So if thousands of birds are dropping all around you, don't worry about poison in the air or anything like that. This is just a normal occurrence... Not unusual.

Happy New Year

2010-12-31T09:20:00.000-08:00

In my life, every year is a good year. Every day is a good day. It's all the same to me.

I'm lucky, blessed... Whatever you want to call it.

It is difficult for me to distinguish between one year or another. I don't feel any older, I don't look forward to retirement because I'm already retired (retired housewife), so today and tomorrow are just days.

I'm going to my daughter's house to spend time with my grandsons. My son Christopher is in Montana with his girlfriend and my son Tyler is working tonight.

The few friends I have in this town aren't doing anything tonight because we're all older and wiser. We know that tonight is just another night.

But to you who are going out to celebrate the new year... Happy New Year! Be safe.

What Is The Deal With Time?

2010-12-26T06:28:00.001-08:00

Honest to Pete, what is the deal with time? I feel like I'm in some kind of time warp where everything in on fast-forward. Here is how my Christmas day went...

Gotupearlydrovedowntowntopickupmysonsdrovetomydaughtershousehadbreakfastopenedpresents
playedgamesheldthenewbabyplayedwithfirstgrandsonplayedvideogamesdrovebackdowntownto
sonshouseatedinnerplayedgamewatchedamoviedrovehomewenttobed.

I don't know who got what or how the kitchens got cleaned or how old anyone is. It's all a blurr.

All I know is when I wake up tomorrow it will be about six months from now and I'll be shopping for birthday presents, then it will be Christmas again.

Time is freaking me out.

It's A Wonderful Life

2010-12-22T13:05:00.000-08:00

I missed the eclipse. I know, I KNOW!!! I was all set up to see it, then around 1:30 I looked up at the moon and thought, "I love the moon, it's beautiful. I look at it every night and sometimes it's white, sometimes it's yellow, and sometimes it's orange. No matter what, it's always beautiful. Think I'll go to bed."

I have great remorse over not staying up to see the eclipse but I didn't so there's nothing I can do about it. It's done.

Moving on.

I was at a SUPER Walmart yesterday with my son, Tyler, and it was horribly big and over stimulating. We had fun though cause we always have fun no matter where we are.

Anyway... As we were checking out, there was this teeny tiny little old lady next to us. She was from Ireland and her name was Bunny, or Bunnie... Like the rabbit, she said. We ended up talking to her for quite awhile and she was delightful. Very witty.

I fell completely in love with her and so did Tyler.

Don't you just love those chance meetings with strangers who come in to and out of your life at random times and you love them for those moments? I wanted to put Bunny in my pocket and take her home with me. She was wonderful!

This is why I love life. You never know who you're going to meet and you never know where you're going to be when you meet them, and you never know what will happen when you aren't looking.

You can plan all you want, you can control all you want, you can make lists and set your watch and have all your ducks in a row. But life is wonderful because no matter what you do, something will happen to flush all those plans, lists, watches, and ducks right down the toilet.

Life is an adventure and every day is a new one. This is why I'm always going on and on about how much I love my life. Every day is a surprise to me.

Life Just Gets Curious-er and Curious-er

2010-12-16T12:45:00.000-08:00

I got a phone call from Mother yesterday saying she is thinking of selling her house of 51 years.

WHAT???

No... She can't do that. That is the house I grew up in. That is the house which was filled to the brim with family and friends all the years I was there. The house where my grandmother lived and died. The house where I was happy and loved and comforted. That house IS my childhood.

I'm only in it once a year now and it's lonely. It's empty. It's huge.

I guess if she wants to sell it, it's probably for the better. She needs a smaller place that isn't so difficult to take care of.

Okay... FINE! Sell it!

Today, I was at a local bar/restaurant having lunch at the bar. I like to go there after the lunch rush and sit at the bar so I can play the Trivia game while I eat. I was the only person in there until...

In walks a man who I knew just by his demeanor, was an alcoholic. He had that look of misery.

I could tell he wanted to talk so I struck up a conversation with him as he drank his drink of Vodka and orange juice, and he started telling me how he used to be really bad and now he was good. He talked about his "Higher Power" and how he didn't care what other people thought about him. He has grand kids who he doesn't see often, even though they live here. I asked him how his "Holiday" was going and he said it sucked.

I knew immediately by his key words that he had been through AA, so I told him he sounded like someone who had been through AA. He looked at me like he had just been caught with his hand in the candy jar. He said he had been sober for 4 years and then a year ago started drinking again... But had it under control and everything was fine.

When I told him I was familiar with AA because of my brother, he asked if I had been through the program. I told him I had never had a drink and his eyes got wide in disbelief. He didn't believe me and kept asking me if I was sure I wasn't in the program.

I told him I have the utmost respect and admiration for those who are.

He then muttered something about me judging him. I assured him I was not judging him and he was free to drink or not drink, I didn't care. He then asked why I had never had a drink, and I told him I had never seen or known alcohol to make anyone happy or better their life and at a young age I decided it wasn't for me. I told him he could decide to quit again if he wanted or he could keep drinking... His choice. There's no time limit on either.

I could tell he was very uncomfortable drinking in front of me. I don't think he expected to run in to someone like me today. I'm not sure what he was thinking, but he ended up draining his drink and giving me a hug as he left. He said it was nice to meet me. Ha! I bet!

I really and truly didn't care if the guy was an alcoholic, recovering or not. I just wanted to eat lunch and play Trivia.

I felt sorry for the guy. I could feel the guilt and shame radiating from him.

I wish Big Brother had been there to say all the right words. Maybe he could have helped him. I don't want to fix people anymore, it's too exhausting and never works.

My whole life has been like today. I can't remember a time when I didn't have strangers coming to me, giving me their story, and I have always felt like I was suppose to help in some way. Most times I just feel like I am missing something important I'm suppose to be saying or doing.

It kind of makes me want to stay home.

But I have to leave my house sometimes, so I guess I'll just keep running into people and their stories.

It is curious though. What exactly am I suppose to be doing with their stories?

The Good News Is....

2010-12-15T08:24:00.000-08:00

The good news is that there may be a cure for HIV. Of course, how do we ever know what is true and what is not true when it comes to the media? They report what they are told to report.

I hope this particular story is true. I have a friend who has been HIV positive for about twenty years, so a cure would be a dream come true. Truly.

That's the only good news I read today. All the other news was doom and gloom. DOOM AND GLOOM!!!!!!

I'm hanging onto the good news like a life jacket in the middle of the ocean.

Counteract the Horror

2010-12-11T11:21:00.001-08:00

I decided to counteract the horror of this "Holiday", what with children setting themselves on fire and being abducted, and all the depression and anxiety that goes along with it.

To make my "Holiday" a joyful one, I bought some Pansies, Rosemary trees, Winter Cactus, and Bamboo. I put the Bamboo, Cactus and one of the Rosemary trees in my kitchen and then I potted and planted the Pansies in my back yard. Now when I go out to my porch, I see a canvas of purple, yellow, and lavender colors. I smell the Rosemary and all is right in the world.

I talked to Big Brother this morning and had a good laugh about how different our brains work. He is overly analytical and I am very ADD. He can't stop focusing on one subject, and I can't focus on any subject for long. We decided that we would be good travel partners because he would be hyper-aware of our surroundings so we wouldn't get lost or in trouble, and I would be looking for the next fun thing to do around the corner. He would keep us out of the trouble that I would get us in to.

Big Brother is funny. I'm so glad he's my big brother.

It's cold and dreary today so I think I'll wrap the last of the presents and go see my grand babies. Nothing like sweet little faces to make a dark day seem bright.

I let a woman at the mall spray my hair with glitter last night. Now I have glitter everywhere... I mean EVERYWHERE. I can't seem to get it off my skin. It seems to be reproducing.

Oh well... I kind of like it.

No horrible "Holiday" for me! I have flowers and glitter!

What Fresh Hell Is This?

2010-12-10T06:54:00.001-08:00

A sixteen year old boy stood in the parking lot of his high school, doused himself with gasoline or something, and lit himself on fire. He is dead.

Why? What possible reason would he have to do something so horrific?

We'll probably never have the answer to that question. All I know is he was only sixteen. He hadn't even lived long enough to work things out.

My heart goes out to his parents and family members.

What in hell is going on? See what I mean about this holiday?

We need to get back to the basics. Forget about all the hype, all the presents, all the bullshit, and just reach out your hand to someone. Take the time to listen. Smile. Love.

Christmas Holiday is no Holiday

2010-12-07T07:11:00.000-08:00

Ugh! Christmas again. It's suppose to be a holiday full of good will and cheer but it doesn't seem that way, now does it.

I have plenty to celebrate with a new grandson and having all of my children living in the same town, a roof over my head and food to eat when I'm hungry. I celebrate these things every day of the year.

To me, Christmas is the most uncelebrated time of year. Everyone is stressed out trying to figure out how to pay for presents, most people are depressed even if they aren't normally depressed, and it's cold on top of it all.

We are expected to go to parties we don't want to attend. We are expected to feed the hungry and buy them gifts when we can barely take care of our own, and the news tells us to get our flu shots or we'll die.

This holiday reminds some of how alone they really are. No family, no friends who are alone too. The elderly are stuck in homes where no one cares and this holiday reminds them of their regrets. Children are hungry and cold and the wealthy get wealthier.

Great holiday.

I am one of the lucky ones. I have my health, my children and grandchildren with me, I have a roof over my head and food to eat, and I live in a beautiful city. I don't have any money but I have everything else and I'm good with that. I don't suffer from depression, seasonal or otherwise, and I have no stress in my life. Lucky for sure.

For those who do suffer in one way or another, I am sorry we put so much pressure to be happy on this holiday. Give yourself a break and don't buy into the whole mess.

It will be over soon and Spring will be here. The flowers will bloom and the temperature will rise. So hang in there.

Farts... Hee hee...

2010-12-05T16:40:00.000-08:00

Big Brother wrote a funny blog today. Well actually, his cat Sinatra wrote the post. Sinatra is much funnier than Big Brother and can write a really good story. This story is about farts and as we all know, farts are funny. Of course they are only funny if you don't have to live with the person who is doing the farting. Living with a fart-person is gross and can kill a romance faster than a New York minute, but hearing fart stories is funny.

The best fart story is told by my nephew and it's really only funny because when my nephew tells it, he laughs so hard that it makes me laugh twice as hard. He farted in front of a new employee and got the giggles while his new employee stood in horror not knowing what to do. Then my nephew laughed so hard that he farted again in front of the new employee and that was all she wrote. There was no way my nephew could compose himself at that point so he dismissed the new employee to his duties.

I have a friend who farts every time she laughs. I think it's pretty funny when it happens. When she first started dating her new boyfriend, he asked her not to laugh when he introduced her to his brother. That of course made her laugh and fart.

Yes... Farts are funny and Sinatra-the-cat is hilarious.

By the way, my daughter is at home and doing well. She is back in her skinny jeans so the week in the hospital was well worth it. She says.

I'm still recovering.

Just When You Think...

2010-12-02T11:31:00.000-08:00

November 23rd was a joyful day bringing the birth of my second grandson into my life... Then it all went down hill.

My daughter developed hypertension and had to go into the hospital again. She had been having migraine type headaches for four days and her right leg was swelling. I told her to call her doctor, which she did, and her doctor kind of blew it off with a, "Come see me tomorrow and we'll check your blood pressure."

You all know what I think about doctors. Hmph!

Sunday night she called her brother to pick her up and take her to the emergency room, which he did of course, and sure enough... It was serious. She was about a minute away from a stroke or death.

They got her on medication and put her in an ambulance to take her to the hospital where her doctor is affiliated. Stupid bullshit. Doctors should be affiliated at all hospitals, but whatever.

So anyway, she has been at the hospital since Monday and I have been with her because, 1. I wanted to be, and 2. Her husband had to stay home and take care of the newborn and my other grandson.

It has been very stressful for them and we are all exhausted, but they released her today and I took her home to her family. They were very excited to have Mommy home again and she was glad to be home with her men.

Life is funny. If she hadn't had those headaches, which are not usually a symptom of hypertension, she could have died. So we are thankful for migraines in this case.

Just when you think everything is hunky dory... shit happens. All is well that ends well though. We can sleep again and breathe easy.

The Holidays

2010-11-28T07:19:00.000-08:00

It is very difficult to enjoy the holidays when you listen to or read the news. I wake up feeling happy and joyful, ready to see what the day brings, and then I read the news. Ugh!

Twenty year old girl murdered, three children missing, shoppers shooting and stampeding, N. Korea bombing, and of course the constant barrage of Obama haters.

I guess it wouldn't be news if it were good news. I guess.

It seems the media and the powers-that-be behind the media are trying to keep us down. But what if no one listened to or read the news. What would life be like if we were completely ignorant of all the bad things going on? Is ignorance really bliss? Yeah, probably.

Well, I'm not going to stop reading, but I am going to put the information I get on a shelf. I'm going to enjoy the holiday and I'm going to enjoy my life. Whatever happens, happens. In the mean time, in my little world, everything is coming up roses.

So there!

Weston

2010-11-24T03:51:00.000-08:00

I had the pleasure of bringing my new grandson into this world yesterday. My daughter has graciously let me be a part of the birth for both of my grandsons and it's unbelievable. I can't even say what an experience it is to be there holding my baby girl while she goes through the motions of giving birth.

It's exciting and frightening and beautiful and ugly and happy and... Everything. I get to be the first to hold my grandson after his Mom and Dad. He is warm and sweet, taking it all in through his tiny eyes that are adjusting to the light. Mine is one of the first voices he hears, telling him how happy I am to see him and how very much I love him.

He won't remember and I will never forget.

What a glorious life this is. Nothing else matters. Everything else is just bullshit.

Before Weston was born, my daughter asked me how you can love the second child as much as the first. I told her you can love them all, equally and fully, with all your heart whether you have two or ten. Love has no limits.

Now she understands.

If Jesus Were President...

2010-11-17T07:31:00.000-08:00

I was watching Jon Stewart this week and he had clips of Republican senators during the Clinton administration going on and on about what a Socialist he was. They said that Clinton was a very bad man who is a Socialist and should be impeached. Sound familiar?

Then Stewart showed clips of the same Republicans now who hail Clinton as a wonderful President who was willing to compromise in order to get things done.

What is it with the Republicans and their "Socialist" rhetoric? Come up with a new phrase, people.

When Bush was in office, the Democrats hated him because he was a warmongering idiot. Well... I have to agree with that, but I'm just sayin.

My point is, what the hell do people want? Who would everybody like as our President?

Maybe Jesus would make everyone happy. President Jesus.

No... He was a Socialist and he ran around with less than desirable people. He despised the wealthy and had no tolerance for the religious leaders of his time. He was a homeless, dirty beggar who rebelled against the government and stirred shit up. Not to mention, he was from the Middle East and most certainly would be a Muslim terrorist. For sure!

The Republicans would hate Jesus and demand he be impeached immediately.

So who then? Who would be able to bring our country together in harmony? Gandhi? Nope... Socialist. Martin Luther King Jr.? Nope... Socialist. It's that, "All men and women are created equal" thing that gets in the way. Expectations of all people, wealthy or poor, being afforded the right to live with dignity and respect is the problem.

Seriously, why should the uneducated poor have any right to health care and food when the rich work so hard for it? All poor people are uneducated aren't they? Anyway, that's beside the point. Poor people just don't deserve the same dignity and respect as wealthy people. They just don't. Right? Wrong.

I guess we will never have a President that both sides agree on, and that means for the rest of my freakin life, I will have to listen to the bickering year after year. Blah, blah, blah! I'm so over it.

Thoughts

2010-11-16T06:30:00.000-08:00

Dear Miss Appalled,
Thank you for your kind words and please feel free to comment anytime. I love comments whether I like them or not. If I don't like them, they are great fodder for the next post. If I do like them, I feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
Sincerely,
Mindovermary

I joined the AARP and thought I would go online to look at health and home insurance. I wanted to see if AARP could really help me and get me discounts. The only thing I got was frustrated.

You would think at my age, I would have figured out by now that nothing is easy when it comes to the Internet or business. Insurance of any kind is an overload of unnecessary, mind boggling information. It would be great if businesses would just give us the bottom line on their websites. I don't need advertisements or pages of why I need their companies. All I want is the bottom line of HOW MUCH it's going to COST me. Pretty simple, yet impossible to find.

First, they want all of YOUR information. Your weight, height, gender, address, email, favorite color, and how often you have a bowel movement. Once they get your information, they then send you thousands of emails advertising their products.

Seriously... I don't need anything that badly.

Remember the good old days when you could pick up the phone and actually talk to a person? I loved those days. Sigh....

My daughter is due in nine days. She is dilated three centimeters and has been laboring for weeks. We're trying to avoid delivery on any of the days that aren't Astrologically compatible with her. Some days she holds the baby in, other days she does what she can to deliver. Today and tomorrow are not good days for her so she's holding on until the after the 17th.

The weather in Charleston is beautiful. I love this town. I love the beauty of this city but I wish the people were different. Not much going on in the brains. Fish, hunt, drink beer, eat oysters. That's pretty much it.

Just watched a video on CNN about the soldier who received the Medal of Honor recently. It gave me chills and broke my heart. I really don't want my son to join the military, and he really wants to join after he graduates college. I may have to tie him down. Just can't stand the thought of it. Sorry.

Well, there you have it. My thoughts for this morning, the 16 of Nov. 2010.

Dancing

2010-11-15T06:50:00.000-08:00

Two of my girlfriends took me out for dinner and dancing Saturday night. I haven't been dancing in years so it was a lot of fun for me. It isn't something I want to do every weekend, but it was fun.

We started out at the restaurant where my youngest son works and my girlfriends fought over him. He is really good about keeping the Cougars at bay while making them feel good at the same time. I'm sure he was glad when we left.

We walked down the street to a place called Henry's that has a dance club on the rooftop. It was Techno with dancing lights, couches, and all the other dance club stuff.

Since I don't drink, I was the only sober person in town. I love being sober because it gives me a perspective that others don't have. I can observe behavior, soak in the atmosphere, and have more fun than anyone. I have no social anxiety so talking and dancing is no problem. I honestly don't care what anyone thinks about me cause it's my life and it's all about me.

As I looked around the crowd, I was reminded of the animal kingdom. Everyone strutting and doing their mating rituals. There were Peacocks in full regalia, Lions who paced the room looking for their potential mate for the evening, and monkeys who were loudly swinging from one branch to the other.

It was quite entertaining from my view.

Everyone there was twenty to thirty years younger than I, which gave me the advantage of talking to boys without trying to impress them. I wasn't on the prowl, just there for a good time.

I find that when you tell young men that you are a grandmother, they treat you with more respect. You know, the elders thing. Conversation is more interesting that way too. I met a nice boy who taught high school history and another young man who was a student of film.

All in all, it was a great night for me and the best part of it was going home without fear of being stopped by the police or having a hang over the next day. I feared that after all the dancing I did, I would be sore the next day but I wasn't. I felt fine.

I will dance until I die and I don't care how much it embarrasses my children and grandchildren. Dancing is what I love to do. I'm going to the grocery store and dance while I shop right now! The music is always good at the grocery store.